If I planted a corn kernel in February, would I be disappointed when it didn’t turn into a large plant that same afternoon? Certainly not! Instead, I would get excited about the plant’s development as I waited for it to grow.
When I started learning self-government principles years ago, I was foster parenting some difficult children, most of whom were on medication and had severe anger issues and terrible eating habits.As I started teaching them self-government skills, many of the children no longer needed their medication. Sometimes the anger issues stopped immediately, but in other children the issues re-surfaced later. With these youth I looked at another aspect of self-government: their diet.
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGKZXQd0G0I] Last week my post was about sibling rivalry. Here is a movie which shows how knowing to disagree appropriately is a skill which helps sibling rivalry.
This sibling rivalry solution video was filmed while I was doing some private self-government teaching for a family. I thought the children did very well with their new skills! It is hard to learn new stuff. But, both children will have much more happiness now that they understand that disagreeing appropriately is for their relationsh
It’s finally ready! People have been begging for this!
For two years I have been working onmakingwhat I think isthe best I haveto offer to help familiessucceed withTeaching Self-Government principles in their homes. The 10 Step Implementation CourseThis is a Mentored Program.
My good friend, Jodie Palmer, sent me this cute anecdote which happened when they were role playing the Four Basic Skills with their children. “Our family has been playing the “instruction game” in the evenings before bed. We take turns giving each other instructions and then following them. Of course we have lot’s of clapping …
This is exciting news! You are invited! On January 5th, at 4:00 pm Pacific Time, I will be featured in a free parentingconference call. The call will go for about 45 minutes and then have time for questionsand answers. This will be a great opportunity to ask those parenting questions you have been wanting to …
As I go around the country teaching parenting seminars and trying to help parents make healthy changes in their family relationships, I notice there are two things which get asked the most.
1. What do you do for attitude problems?
2. How do you stop tantrums?
I an not going to expound on tantrums today, but I will say that attitude problems are just tantrums at a different level. The difference between the two are that tantrums usually happen when a person is small and they often include uncontrolled body movements and crying, and attitude problems are usually mostly verbal with abrasive body language. Attitude problems are usually more controlled than tantrums. Both tantrums and attitude problems are signs of frustration, anxiety and lack of healthy communication skills.
I am pretty confident talking about attitude problems, because I was the attitude problem queen of my house when I was in my teen years. I think my poor parents earned all their gray hairs during my attitude problem years. Luckily, I had a very insightful young women’s leader who saw my problem and wasn’t afraid to tell me how to change.
One day I was at her home telling her daughter that my parents wouldn’t let me go to a youth party because they
“Where am I going wrong?!?!?!?! I had started to think that things were on the up, but lately it seems as though my daughter’s behaviour has taken a nosedive. I think she’s just asserting herself but I find it hard to stay calm when she does. She ignores me very often or when she does respond to something, it’s usually with a “no” or “I don’t want to!”.
Nicholeen: we’re doing our best to implement a system of family government following your plan. I have the 6 cd set and I’ve listened to them twice, and I’m reading the book as well…
…What do you do about a child who chooses to be out of instructional control forever? Just give him his 3 square meals a day, food, clothing, medical care, education, and otherwise let him be? I decided to further restrict his privileges by only letting him take one bath a day for 30 minutes maximum. (He likes to take about 6 to 8 baths a day usually.) I also will fill up his waking time with chores and SODAS, but if he refuses to do them as he is now, do I just wait him out? Keep asking him every 15 minutes if he’s ready to accept consequences yet? What?