accepting no answers

teen rebellion

Healthy Independence vs. Rebellion

Many parents of teen- or pre-teen-aged youth are confused about whether teenage rebellion is an attitude problem or whether the child is displaying healthy independence. When attitude problems seem like rebellion, parents wonder if rebellion is natural or simply a modern social construct that societies now think is developmentally normal. Rebellion is as old as …

Healthy Independence vs. Rebellion Read More »

Child light bulb

Sometimes They Figure It Out Themselves

Several years ago, my family had a tradition of occasionally deciding we were on vacation for a week. That meant we took a break from our regular routine. We did it a few times a year to focus on getting all of the yard and garden work done. One day that we spent doing lots of yard work is particularly memorable, not because of what we accomplished in the garden, but because of what happened with my children.

Grumpy girl

Always Stay Consistent with Consequences Earned

“Yesterday my 8 year old was grumpy when asked to do something, so he earned a negative consequence. I asked him to choose a job from the job jar.I explained that the job would help him change his heart.He then got very cheerful and said he was sorry for being grumpy… and wanted to be allowed to not do the job because he had changed (after all, he reasoned, the attitude was the reason for the extra job).

mom and teen

Stopping Conflicts Before They Start

A friend of mine asked me what she could do for her teenage exchange student. This student was in the middle of a multiple, day-long teenage tantrum. The mother had told her exchange student that she couldn’t attend a sleepover because the family doesn’t do sleepovers. The teenage exchange student, in turn, became very emotional …

Stopping Conflicts Before They Start Read More »

freedom

To Find Personal Success, Give Yourself a “No” Answer

Self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them. This means that each person decides what type of person they ought to be and plans for how to become this person. When, as it always does, …

To Find Personal Success, Give Yourself a “No” Answer Read More »

Support Call 12-11-15

This call covers:

  • My 2-year-old son is very stubborn and strong-willed and he “pushes back” at me, but not at Dad. What do I do about this?
  • All of my children are dawdling through their chores and their school. How do I help them overcome that?
  • How does “say okay and be okay” work with no answers? Mychildren cry, whine, and get attitude problems when they don’t get their way.
Angry toddler

To the Mother of the Screaming Child in the Grocery Store Line

Most every mother has experienced something like this — you’re at the grocery store, busy juggling carts, food items and kids, when one of your children starts throwing a temper tantrum. You do your best to console them, trying to ignore the irritated glances of your fellow shoppers, and then, with a stress level through …

To the Mother of the Screaming Child in the Grocery Store Line Read More »

Support Call 8-7-15

This call covers:

  • My family doesn’t like deliberate talk and family meetings don’t really work. Is it even worth it to do them?
  • My age 12 son has become very rude and disrespectful to me and the rest of the family. Name calling and “poop jokes” are normal for him. How do I help him fix it?
  • We’ve just started implementing TSG and our 5-year-old son can’t accept a “no” answer. He runs away and is rude. What do we do?
  • Where do you go to get a lift and/or encouragement? Do you ever feel depressed? And, what do you think about birth order?
  • My 3-year-old runs away when it’s time to go to the calm down spot. What do I do about that?
cerealboy

Is Emotional Throw Up Healthy?

Years ago I read an article about a woman who thought her children needed to emotionally throw up from time to time in order to stay emotionally healthy. She wasn’t talking about real vomit from the stomach. She was talking about crying and screaming and emoting until the child ‘got it all out.’ Do you think emotional vomit is healthy?

Support Call 5-2-14

On this call, there were a couple situations that could be because of or could lead to sexual addictions. We also had questions from keeping ADHD children calm in pre-school and accepting other people.

Here are the questions:

  • My sons (5 and 6) are a little too interested in pulling down their pants. I’m not sure how to respond to the situation. What do I do?

  • I have a question about my almost 16 year old son. we have had the requirement in our family that the boys earn their eagle scout award before they can receive their drivers license.He is a very “white” personality, he tends to be on the more passive side, and sometimes aggressive if he is pushed to far. What can we do to help him take ownership for communicating his needs such as completing his Eagle Scout Award? What are some good ways to communicate these things to him?

  • What do you see as the relationship between accepting no answers and accepting other people?

  • I have a question about my ADHD child. He’s in a pre-school setting. How do I help him want to be calm?

  • My 11 year old boy who doesn’t want to be seen with me. My husband and I got married later in life, so I’m a bit older. How do I help him be less judgmental?

Tell Them What to Say

Even after we teach our children how to follow an instruction or how to accept a NO answer, our children will sometimes forget that they can choose to say, “OK”. The other day I told my son that he needed to clean his room. I could tell that he didn’t want to do the task. His face started to pout. The second I saw this, I said, “Porter, say OK.” He looked right at me and said, “OK!” Then I praised him. It is alright to tell them exactly what to say. This helps them problem solve the very situation they are in. The child then gets the opportunity to see how easy it is to make the rig

Login

Excuse our dust!

We are working as fast as we can to clean up this new site and move all the content over. The old site is still live at https://legacy.teachingselfgovernment.com if you need anything there.

Login