Using and Pre-teaching boundaries and skills outside the home and/or around visitors.

I started trying to use and apply TSG parenting and skills about two years ago. A friend of mine recommended your book when I was pregnant with my 5th child and on IVs 10-12 hours a day. I began teaching the 4 skills and trying to use the parenting skills with my kids. They were acting out-of-control. I needed help. I then received some harsh criticism about TSG from someone I deeply trusted; I was told I would ruin my kids and their lives using TSG, its language and principles. (Maybe it was because of my inadequacies as I was just trying to learn and figure it out…) I did a lot of praying and pondering, and I came to the conclusion that I needed to continue anyway.
Unfortunately, since then I have often allowed my fear(s) to prevent me from using and applying TSG principles and language outside our home. I am working hard to change me and my thought patterns right now, but I think I’ve trained my kids that I don’t parent very well (or very little), and I have higher tolerances when other adults are around, or when we are outside the home, on trips, with extended family, at church, in front of guests visiting, etc. In these types of situations I struggle to really parent and so of course my kids often struggle, too, (to follow my instructions, say okay, make eye contact, disagree appropriately, or use other skills, even when I try.)
How can I help myself change and be better able to prepare myself and my children to continue using TSG principles outside our home?
(I don’t want to “show-off” my parenting or do things for the purpose of being “seen” by others. I don’t want to embarrass my kids. But, I really want to be consistent whether others are watching or not.)
I feel ashamed asking but I need to change. Thank you!