Trauma

My husband and I went through some challenging times during the pandemic. We were considering divorce, and my husband was talking openly in front of the kids about leaving the family. Two incidents happened when I and the kids stayed at my parent's house for a few days. I went with the kids without telling him. The first time when we reunited, my husband told the kids in detail how sad he was and how he was crying, asking the kids never to leave the house without telling him where they were going with me. That created some safety concerns in the kid's minds. They had to check with him whenever going out of the house with me. My second daughter felt insecure about leaving the house.
Now, we are both doing counseling, trying to fix the situation and create a loving and caring environment for the kids. But my second daughter is significantly affected by the past. She is now six years old. From when she was three until recently, we have been talking and trying to divorce, and she is primarily afraid that her dad will leave or that I will take her away from him.
He travels for business sometimes, and it is hard now for him to leave because of our daughter’s insecurities and trauma around him going.
How can we dissolve these types of trauma?
If she is very stressed out, she usually doesn’t talk, but before bed, she calls me into her room and asks me many questions. Should I invite her to ask me questions about past traumatic events? What answers should I give her?
She has trouble falling asleep at night, and she keeps asking me if Dad is home.
Every time I take the kids out somewhere, I show them that Dad knows about it by telling everyone in the morning what is today’s plan, where we will go, and what we will be doing. This helps to anticipate the day and allows them to see that Dad knows everything.
Also, I now plan the week, and I try to do a couple’s meetings on the weekend. My husband does not like them, but often, I do it by myself, then I tell everyone the plan for the following week and invite my husband to suggest adjustments.
I spoke with my kids about the Roles many times, and I told them that it is not their role to plan or care for their parents. They are kids. Let us worry about planning and managing everything this family needs. I tell them, “You do not check on us. We check on you!”
Also, I talk with them about the family vision and we discuss about the type of family we want to become.
Thank you