Teen boy

Hello Nicholeen,
My son is 14. I really need to get in a good place with my son and entire family. I have not been doing family meetings or individual check ins. they go months without one. i have been feeling selfish and overwhelmed by motherhood. I feel burned out. I am easily irritated. I take things personally when my children lie or argue. I am not having much fun. I use to love being a mom. Until i became a step mom. I also didn't have boundaries. So the fun time without boundaries would not last forever even if my bond was strong. Having boundaries is very hard for me. I don't feel strong enough to hold them.
My son 14 year old Jamison is very determined to get his way. If I don't provide or set a boundary he goes to his dad (who I am divorced from)
I feel my son is open to bonding with me.
I struggle to see what is manipulative in his behaviors. For example he will often tickle me , hang on me and tease me. I am not sure if he looking to play and bond and physical touch or if he is wanting to get on my good side and have fun to then ask me to get him something he wants
I am often upset with him because he lies.
He lies to get what he wants. Friend time/unlimited. Snapchat, I blocked and he keeps loading on his phone. I told him no iphone until i felt he was ready and i could feel a change of heart. but his dad got him one. he hid it and then lied about not know how to load apps i don't like. We were moving and i have been distracted and he likes that because he can go off with friends and face consequences later when i realized he left.
He doesn't want a moment to get bored. It's alway a stimulation he craves. friends, food, video game, phone, soccer. He is always rushing to the next thing.
With school I let him go every other day for electives weight training, art seminary. He is cutting classes. He doesn't feel his education is important. He has to really understand and be sold on a motivation to learn or else he will rush to get it over with. Right now he is reading do hard things. I have a few other books for him to read after that. 7 habits for teens and TJEd for teens. I am giving him chores for dishonesty and he goes through the rule of 3 often. But probably not enough. He says if i have things for him to do he will be home more. or if i kick a ball around with him. he doesn't have any other bonds at home. we have family time from 6-7 each night. Thank you for all your guidance. It has been such a blessing