Staying firm and calm w Daughter

Hello Nicholeen,

We talked about our 15 year old girl that is saying she’s Trans. I read Irreversible Damage, and have been working on bonding with her. She likes to spend time with me. I’m having a difficult time being motivated to do corrections. She believes my husband and I are very critical. She does not want help with school work even when she doesn’t get something. She is sensitive and I want to have empathy for her. She takes our standards especially about music as a criticism. We’ve always had movie and modesty standards but music standards are new. I explained that it’s the same as it’s a media.

Also, I’m struggling with watching her dress as a man. She likes to wear dark, black clothes and also wants to paint her walls black. I go in and out of feeling sadness and despair which makes it difficult to have a loving feeling and tone. I realize I need to think of new thoughts that are true. It’s difficult when I’m out with her and feel overwhelmed by emotion. I can’t go away to calm down.

Thank you so much for your help. It’s been a lifeline.