Self Pitty

My 6 yr old Daughter with ODD is trying hard to learn when she is Self-pitying. Usually she does it when she is upset and starts saying over and over no one likes me and i hate it here and just Random things that make her more upset. We started a bean jar to teach her how to catch her thoughts. When she Catches a self-pitying thought and can choose to give her self a NO answer and drop the subject she gets to put a bean in the jar and when it's filled ( it's a small jar) gets a toy at the store. But I'm feeling frustrated and so is she, she doesn't understand how to Identify the thoughts that she's having, And I'm finding it very hard to teach her
Self-analysis I've Tried explaining to her about how her brain works and how she gets stuck in a loop. Any advice on how we can help her more ?