Rule of three

My 10 yr old son loves the program and knows it very well. He has said it often that if he ever has children choices map poster will be the first thing he hangs up. 😊
He often has corrected me when I make a mistake in the rule of three. Especially I after I pre teach and then maybe skip one step and put him right into the loss of privileges. It’s like he is out of control and has decided he will come back into control exactly when it suits him but before the loss of privileges as that’s to inconvenience. He also constantly asks why or talks or says “but mom…” as I’m pre teaching. I find it very hard to preteach when he is constantly interrupting, or just making random noises so he doesn’t hear me. Is it ok to give him five minutes to calm down before the rule of three or do I start immediately. He is difficult to figure out and I want to do the right thing. One thing I have noticed is that he definitely goes out of control fast when he is hungry but do I just give him all this grace every time? I feel like he doesn’t eat his meals properly and is constantly hungry when he is reading or having quiet time. Lunches for school are very minimal and he says that’s enough as he rather play. But then it’s hard to deal with him on the way home. He is often very mean when he doesn’t get his way or others are not doing work when he has to. He likes to constantly tell his siblings what they have to do before he will start his tasks. I have told him that that is my role to make sure they do there tasks but it’s as if he doesn’t hear me. I get so caught up with dealing with him that I don’t have time to deal with the others. I know I have a long way to go but I’m trying 😊. Praise is most likely the answer to encourage him but I feel like I’m always correcting him for something. This morning he had to vacuum and it was like he didn’t care to do a good job. He has been taught how to do a proper job but was more concerned that his brother picked up and moved furniture for him and that would be reason not to vacuum when he couldn’t work together. I feel like we are still constantly in a power struggle.
Thanks so much for your help.