Rule of 3 for ODD

Short question. Sometimes we will begin the rule of 3, but I don’t judge that the child is emotionally out of whack, even under the surface, but just being defiant. In those times, the calm down instructions feel out of place. Do you have thoughts on that? Do you just always assume that they are feeling mixed up about something even when defiant and that taking breaths will be helpful? Or, in other words, do you always do calm down instructions?

Related, how many instructions do you do in the rule of three if they are following the instructions? For example, if they take three deep breaths with you and you praise them, what next? What are your other go to calm down instructions? Or do you sometimes just stop after the first set of breaths?

Many thanks 🙂