personal managment/narcisism

Recovering Narcicists?? I am pretty sure from your previous answers that both myself and my husband are quite narcicistic!! Neither of us are intentionally evil, but I am sure that we compensate for eachother's bad behaviour and make it "normal". This is showing in the way my children behave with each other. I am aware that I am attempting to live by principles and standards and am surprised that my husband is almost blind to it that he doesn't apply these standards that he natually adheres to at work – he will be unkind and then he actually laughs off his own bad behaviour, and thinks it should be endearing or cute and that we ought to be amused with him that he's just sworn, called names and been rough or rude…that we are silly for thinking that it's inappropriate. I am calmly addressing it as we go and dropping the subject as he gets very agitated when I attempt to bring it up – especially when we have a couple meeting – he avoids any direct feedback – and when the children ask me about his "bullying" them or me in the moment, I say,
"yes you are correct that's not integrity, you just need to do the right thing."

Do you have any insight as to what we ought to do to help everyone just do the right thing? I am focusing on just holding my role and staying in my lane.

Part 2.
I often struggle knowing how to manage myself and my responsibilities. I have trouble getting out of the door on time and getting myself ready as well as getting the children ready and managing the behaviour of the children, especially when doing corrections along the way.

I have real trouble feeling I have done enough and am ready enough – I realise that I tell myself things aren't good enough and I also fail to resource myself or plan. I think I am possibly ADHD – I am praying and telling myself that I am good enough and I can be gentle with myself….because when I am calm I can learn. Is there anything you can recommend with the practical skills of actually doing the work.