Navigating a new friendship

Hi Nicholeen, I’ve recently been asked to assist my son’s Chinese teacher in an informal Chinese immersion summer school (among friends) from June 19-Sep 1. It will be held in the house of a Chinese surgeon and my son will get to attend it for free in exchange for my volunteer hours. The surgeon is very sweet and has treated us like family during the times we’ve been over in the last month to plan for the summer immersion school.

As a single father, he’s been diligently teaching his twin sons higher level math, SAT English, Chinese language, proverbs, literature and even MCAT mock questions. The twins have now been selected to be in a school for the gifted. The Dr. has been very kind to teach my husband and I, his teaching methods including the ANKI computer program that medical students use to aid learning. He even shared all the files he’s created for the boys these past 5 years. My husband is very excited to see our son grow in his intellect through ANKI; and be motivated to sharpen his Math, Science and Mandarin language skills. He thinks the twins will provide motivation through competition during the summer immersion program.

Interestingly, my son just expressed that he doesn’t want to attend the summer school because the twins cuss a lot using the s…. and f… words. Every time we go there, my son plays well with the twin boys but when he asked them to stop cussing, they ignored his requests. My son says he is worried he will pick up these words if he’s around them a lot. Apparently, the surgeon told the twins that they can cuss as much as they want in their home which is where we will hold the summer school. He even encouraged them to use cuss words when explaining math concepts in story form because they think it’s funny. Also, since the Dr. is openly gay and his ex comes to these gatherings in the past month, we had some good conversations with my son about the biblical view on marriage and how we’re choosing to love them despite it all. We sense that God is connecting us with this family for a special reason and He wants us to be His ambassadors of love to them. My husband doesn’t think it’s our place to ask the Dr. to tell his sons to stop cussing but instead use this opportunity to train our son to stand his ground and not be influenced. He thinks that our son will have to face these types of situations sooner or later. We’d so appreciate hearing your analysis and solutions. Thank you so much!