if rule of 3 isnt effective

I have read your book, reviewed multiple resources,and watched YT videos and I am not finding what to do after if you have done all the steps, the corrective teaching, intensive teaching, and determined they are out of instructional control and have stated they loose privilidges for 24 hrs. ok but what do they do? Like am I supposed to send them to their room? like if they actually WON'T LISTEN. I understand there is an underlying issue of needing to reestablish connection and we are working on that, but in the mean time… do we ignore the issue? like let them roam? send to their room? what if they won't actually go to their room? then we are in a power struggle and they are no longer toddlers that you can carry them. So they get to do whatever they want until they choose to calm down is that correct? and once that happens then the time begins. But my question is more like in the time period of letting them choose they need to calm down, are they allowed to just wander..