Disrespectful

My son is out of control. We had a nice day yesterday, we ran a race. Even though I had a lot on the agenda, I dropped everything to take him to the places he wanted. We had a mom and son meeting where we strategized and made a happiness plan. I thought we could climb out of this, but the truth is As long as we do everything he wants to do when he wants it, we are good. As soon as he gets a no answer it goes from zero to a hundred. We were having a very pleasant morning, laughing, playing and chatting. I made breakfast and told him to stop playing. I made yummy pancakes. He asked if I added banana. I said one. It was one second that he went from happy to angry. He screamed at me shouting that I purposely did it because I knew he didn’t like it. I always add banana instead of sugar. He always just eats it. I was very calm when going through the rule of 3, I was really trying to help him calm down with the strategies we came up with when he was calm, I really felt love and respect when I was going through the steps but he just started throwing chairs and toys, screaming and yelling, and accusing me of purposely sabotaging his day so I got upset and told him to get out of the house. I spent a long time making breakfast, I didn’t know he had such an aversion to banana, he never said anything before and it’s something I make often. I can’t stand and watch my 8 year old become a disrespect, out of control person . This has been happening for a month. He always had tendencies to lose his temper and has always been quick to anger and not acceptant of no answers or consequences , but the complete disregard for everything I say, the throwing things, the complete disregard to instruction when he is mad that is all new. How do we get out of this cycle.