Demand avoidance

Please would you suggest ways of approaching teaching self government with a 10-year-old girl who is demand avoidant, and is driven to avoid demands. For instance, my daughter does not admit to having difficulties with self government and does not admit ti needing help. I tried to use the third person to deal with this, by saying that I need her views about each of the books, to see if she thinks they will be helpful for other children. She will read the books when I present them indirectly in this way. She does not like the word chores and so I call chores 'helping tasks.' and then she's happy to do them. I have adapted the language but used the same principles and the same approaches. TSG is helping her follow instructions faster. I notice now whem she trieds to start an argument or Power struggle. I'm sometimes finding it challenging to keep calm and I realise I need to be more patient to give her time to respond.