Anxiety

When I was pregnant with my first baby, we discovered my sister had cancer. My daughter was born to a confused mom. I probably had depression and didn’t connect well with her. Now she is nine years old. I previously asked you about her being too bossy – you answered that she might be having anxiety since she is easily annoyed, is overthinking, raises her voice, and walks away from conversations. In the past, my tolerance was too high, allowing her to do what she wanted. Now, she has a hard time accepting a “No” answer. But she also has a black and white thinking.
I wish to connect with her better.
She often runs away from me, saying that I would give her a chore or make a correction.
I do correct her a lot. And when I praise her, she says she doesn’t need my praise. She prefers sweets or presents. But we are trying to cut on them because she is focused too much on material things.
You have been talking about stages in a child's development. When is the next step that she will feel like she needs me, and what will be good for me to do then?
I know she needs me every moment of every day, but she is pushing me away. How do I connect and stay by her side? How do I help with her anxiety? Is she setting boundaries between me and her? I want her to feel safe an loved around me.
Thank you