Advice for Bonding

Hello Nicholeen,

We spoke about helping our 14 year old attention seeking daughter to change some of her behaviors. The first thing i told her was she needs to change her appearance. She is only one thing that she wears can look "rebellious". Her hair is in a very short pixie cut which already looks rebellious. She has also not been allowed to listen to unwholesome music.

However, I realized that our bond is hurting. I have been feeling stressed about her behavior, which also includes not passing some of her homeschool classes. Unfortunately I have shown that I'm stressed to her. I've restarted your course on calm and have decided to make staying calm and having a loving tone my focus.

Tonight I discovered that she got onto some YouTube Videos about same sex attraction and has written a document with plans to write an essay about why same sex unions are not wrong. I talked to her about the points being made. I asked her if she feels like she has experienced same sex attraction and she said no. I told her it's okay if she has and that she can talk about it to me. I did stay very calm and loving.

Could you please give me you advice ? My primary concern is how to strengthen my bond with her while continuing to have strict boundaries.

Thank you.