Accepting no answr

Hi we are all five of us on a trip for the next three months and sharing a room. Last week was hard, we were in one hotel room, and we were all sick and between the “meltdowns” of my oldest and the frequent wakings of a sick baby, nobody got sleep. Now we are at my in-laws and that is hard too.

I’m wondering where I am getting it wrong. The out of control periods stretch for hours, and sometimes days.

Last night, was a particularly difficult night, I watched a commercial on a hug sleep and ordered one because I thought it might help my 8 year old sleep. He asked to sleep with it, and I gave him a no answer because I wanted to wash it first. He would not drop the subject, kept trying to disagree and would only stop when we would threaten the rule of three. We tried to have our nightly Bible reading and my son kept goofing off and stretching it out. He still would not drop the subject and his Grandmother went and washed it for him.

My baby got fussy, so I went to put him down in the middle of Bible study, and by the time I had put him down, it was 10pm, which is actually 11pm Utah time. My mother in law had washed and dried his blanket at this point, and handed it to my son, and I just said, no, I’m sorry he can’t sleep with that, I gave him a no answer and he has to learn to accept no answers. Grandma said, he shouldn’t have to accept no answers at my house.

Anyways, this no answer led to a meltdown on my son’s part, in which he earned the rule of 3. Grandma begged me for mercy, so I postponed his consequence, and then Grandma changed her mind and said that they could work together. We compromised for a delayed 24 hour of no sugar, but he would do his 24 hours of work now.

I asked my son to do a chore, he asked if he was getting paid. I said, no, then said a rhyme from the book that he said would help him in these situations. He said, that’s annoying and walked away. Baby got fussy at that moment so I wasn’t able to address it right away, but when I did, he had another major meltdown that lasted for three hours. I just don’t know what to do.