Jason Alba, well known author, blogger, and public speaker shared some the Teaching Self-Government successes at his home on this link http://jasonalba.com/2010/02/02/choose-the-right/
It’s so great to hear people’s successes!
Parenting Success Story Read More »
Nicholeen: we’re doing our best to implement a system of family government following your plan. I have the 6 cd set and I’ve listened to them twice, and I’m reading the book as well…
…What do you do about a child who chooses to be out of instructional control forever? Just give him his 3 square meals a day, food, clothing, medical care, education, and otherwise let him be? I decided to further restrict his privileges by only letting him take one bath a day for 30 minutes maximum. (He likes to take about 6 to 8 baths a day usually.) I also will fill up his waking time with chores and SODAS, but if he refuses to do them as he is now, do I just wait him out? Keep asking him every 15 minutes if he’s ready to accept consequences yet? What?
Happy Children Choose to be Happy Read More »
“Grandparents need the lessons taught by Nicholeen. I have 43 grandchildren. As I took care of 5 of them just recently, using the “Family Council” as a way of solving problems (as taught by Nicholeen) was so helpful to me in working with the grandchildren. Thanks, Nicholeen!”
I loved this comment because it shows that the Teaching Self-Government communication principles can be used in all circumstances with any family members or friends. I also find these principles helpful in group settings like teaching church classes or advising scouts or clubs.
Principles to keep in mind in all settings:
Grandparents Parenting ~ And Principles for Good Communication With Anyone or Any Group Read More »
This is a copy of an email from Amiee Kieffer, author of http://momzoo.blogspot.com/
I thought it would be helpful to many others.
Hitting Toddlers – Parenting Advice Read More »
Nicholeen,
Do you have any hope (techniques we can use) forNarcissistto change? I am dealing with a 50 year old son who we have diagnosed (finally) and he is wearing us out emotionally and financially.
Thank you so much,
When I think about this situation I can’t help but ponder on the word “control.”He wants control of his life and is going about it all wrong…………you want to have more control, or influence, over him and he is not a child anymore, despite how he is acting, so you can’t have it by taking it. There is a principle I believe in…………..No one is able to really control anyone but herself.
However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t still have influence on your son. It just means that it is much more
Parenting Adult Children ~Narcissism Personality Disorder Read More »
Parenting Toddlers ~ Small Successes
Nicholeen,
I’ve been working with my son Jack for the last six months to appropriately accept correction. He’s 21 months old. He’ll do something inappropriate, I’ll tell him the right thing to do and then say, “You say, ‘OK, mom.'” I’ve been wondering, over the course of the months, if my efforts were in vain. Was he too young? Would he ever get it?
Parenting Toddlers and Parenting Teenagers ~Family Government in Action Read More »
“I was wondering….what do you do about name calling, or when children say bad words? My children say crap, stupid, dumb, etc… No matter how many times I tell them to stop, they don’t. So would you have them do a chore everytime they named called, or said a bad word? or Would you do something different?”
Name calling is obviously not appropriate because it destroys the feeling in the home and encourages contention and selfishness. There are a couple of ways I handle this sort of thing.
Stopping the Name Calling, and Crass Words Read More »
My sister, Janelle, who was featured on the BBC World’s Strictest Parents spoke with me recently about her one regret about the show. If you have seen the show, you will remember we took our British guests to a homeschool youth event. Janelle was in charge of creating an event which would push the youth, physically, and emotionally. It was a team race with many different challenges. During the event, the youth were required to get their whole team over a 6 foot high wire loaded with bells, have each person eat a jar of baby food beans, fill a tube with water that was loaded with holes, feed each other blind folded, and get their whole team completely off the ground for 30 seconds using a rope and three poles.
The youth were inspiring to watch. James had a hard time with the course because the challenges were very emotionally strenuous. The program showed some of this. Hannah was very different to watch though.
BBC’s Hannah Teaches Parents a Great Lesson Read More »
This is Spencer, the father in the show. Thank you so much for your comments about the show and our family. As portrayed in the show, we love to spend as much time with our children as possible. I have realized that someday that my children will be come as I am and that’s a sobering thought. It helps me to change things about me that I may not like. Doing this show has been an incredible journey for us and hopefully
I was introduced to your program at a conference last year & fell in love with it. It’s for adults as well as kids! Would you be able to offer me some advise on how a husband might use this to help his wife? My son has been married for 3 years to a lovely girl.
Teaching Self-Government in Marriage Read More »
“Dear Nicholeen: I watched the show and was so impressed by your calm and collected attitude. I loved it when your son said, “she’s trying to push my mom’s buttons, but it won’t work.” One of my biggest problems is I allow kids to push my buttons and engage me in non-productive discourse (getting off track of what we’re talking about). These get me so frustrated. I don’t know how you did it with James and Hannah. I admire your patience, love and skills.
Can you tell us any more about some of the experiences that happened that weren’t included in the final edit. I’m curious to learn more about it.”
This is a great comment. Let me fill you in a bit on the whole situation my sweet, big talking 12 year old, was commenting on:
James and Hannah were very used to running away if they didn’t get their way. The reason people continue running is because it is a form of power struggle that usually works. It stops
Nicholeen Tells more about World’s Strictest Parents Read More »
“I’ve just seen you on the TV Programme, the Wor’ds strictest parents here in the UK and would like to say what a superb job your family did with Hannah and James. Your family was so patient and understanding with the teenagers and seemed to really touch their lives in a positive way. I found your email address by noticing the name of your chorus in the film and then finding your contact details on your website.
World’s Strictest Parents Utah Read More »
We have a problem with people getting into things in the house without asking. For example chocolate chips, cookies in the freezer and so on. We also have a problem with dishonesty.
The consequence for these (decided by the family) Dishonesty: 30 min.
Getting Each Other in Trouble Read More »
While making bread one day I heard confusion coming from downstairs. After asking the children what was happening I found out that one of our darling little friends, who was over playing, broke a toy and was really worried about getting into trouble. Apparently, the little five year old girl was playing with a toy when it dropped and broke. The other children assured her that it would be alright, but she was still worried.
Our sweet friend became so anxious that she hid herself in the bathroom for a while, and when she was found there came out and found another more private pl
Recently I have had multiple people email with questions about their husbands. It seems that some fathers are reluctant to make changes in their family culture and systems even when the rest of the family is already using the teaching-self-government system. Even though I am speaking from a woman’s perspective today to women primarily, I have also had fathers email about their wives not wanting to change, so the topic is valid for both mothers and fathers.
Why is it that one parent can be ready for change and another isn’t? The answer to this question is probably individual in many
Fathers figuring things out Read More »
“Waaaaahaaaaa!” screamed Porter, my five year old, from the other side of the family room. I looked over there just is time to see Paije, his much older sister, trying to pry one of her shoes from her little brother’s hands while keeping a close eye on the other shoe. Before I could even get a word in, Paije had grabbed the first shoe away from her younger brother and no
Teaching How to Stop Teasing Read More »
My daughter had one of her best friends over to play. After playing for about 45 minutes, the friend came from the basement in tears to her mother. She was really upset because she was having a hard time communicating with my daughter.
Choose Communication Not Sides Read More »
Another way I change my children’s hearts is to see what changes I have to make in myself. If a relationship is suffering, it is usually a two person problem. So, if I feel disconnected from my child, I take a good hard look at what I can do to change myself, motivate myself, and inspire myself. In short, I try to see how I can live better so that I can inspire my child to live better. In the past this has even required a new way of communicating to my family. So far, this approach to changing hearts has been a big blessing for myself and my family.
If I am going to in
Teaching Self Government requires Self Government Read More »
“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice. I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together. Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort. I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long. It’s
“Mom is on the phone” Read More »
Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago. It has been so helpful! It has already made a big difference in our home!
My eight year old son was having trouble obeying the first time i.e. following instruction, and we would ask him again and again to do things and he wouldn’t do them. He would forget or get distracted reading. (He’s a white, through and through.) Then we would get angry and he would do it. But he would sometimes get angry and lately even sometimes go into a little bit of a rage.
Success Stories and Some Questions Read More »