During this time of year when there are lists of things to do and places to go, don’t forget this one simple truth: people are more important than things. People are worth more of our focus than lists. We may think that the lists of things make the holiday perfect for the people, but that isn’t true. While it is true that a loving effort for a nice occasion is noticed and appreciated, it is also true that a stressed-out parent at a perfect occasion ruins the occasion all together. No gift, list, or event is worth disconnecting from the people or damaging relationships.When you are working on your lists of holiday plans this year, make yourself this promise: “I will allow myself to be interrupted by my children and bond to them. I will look them in the eyes and listen to what they say. I will treat my …
Posted by Monica Pond on December 23, 2019
One thing that fails first on low energy days is parenting consistency. Parents start not seeing or correcting mistakes because they are distracted by their low energy.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 11, 2014
Janae and Trisha both have a 12-year-old son who has a habit of being defiant. Each woman struggles with having the confidence to help her son change his behaviors during his outbursts. So why is Trisha’s son making so much more progress on staying calm and listening to her than Janae’s? Why is Trisha’s confidence growing and Janae’s confidence getting worse? Trisha loves some things that Janae hates: instruction and reproof. She loves being instructed and making changes to her behaviors. This process requires self-analysis and creating new plans to fit her goals. Trisha deliberately works to improve her confidence in teaching her son and developing their relationship. She also loves giving instructions and corrections to her son. She knows that even though it takes more time and effort, there’s nothing more important for her son at this time than to teach him and bond with him. Her son feels …
Posted by Monica Pond on August 30, 2018
This comment was made by a blogger. My comments arebelow. “Our family has serious lack of enjoyment issues. I think we just don’t know how to have fun because we are afraid to spend any money on frivolousness when we have debts to pay, and we have not done anything for so long, we don’t know what to do to just get away and have fun together.” Family Activities don’t have to cost.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 24, 2017
One morning I woke up with this list of things to do that day on my mind.Ok, I didn’t plan on one of my children throwing up, but the rest was planned.Before I even got my swimsuit on to leave for the pool, I felt this tight feeling in my chest and my head started to ache.I tried taking some deep breaths to calm myself down, but itdidn’t seem to work. I kept going and thought my workout might relax me.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 15, 2018
https://s3.amazonaws.com/EditedImplementationAudio/Healingthehome-final.mp3 In this audio class Nicholeen discusses the first three things to do to heal a sick home. Family Economy: Rules & Consequences Parent Counceling Sessions (The 5th Teaching Style) 4 Basic Skills Other topics discussed: Analyze the sickness like a doctor: ask, hear, listen, and walk Tone Tolerances The “Soft Hold” Common sense skills like “Asking For Help”
Posted by Pennie Rumsey on May 10, 2013
This is the time of year the focus of the world is on education and preparing our children to learn and grow toward success. We enroll the children in classes, schools, programs and activities in hopes they will get an education to prepare them for the future. Is our current educational plan adequate for the future our children will face? How can we know what they will need when the future is uncertain? Will foreign languages, advanced math classes, and programs designed to enhance talents be enough? What is most important? The Beginning of Schooling in America Today there are a few educational theorists who believe that if parents would get out of the way then children would be free to get a better education. However, the majority of society still knows that children need direction and instruction from wise adults and parents throughout their education because proper moral development …
Posted by Monica Pond on September 7, 2017
“Mom, I think I’m in a phase where I just want to dress comfortable instead of cute. For the last couple of weeks, I don’t even think about dressing nice,” said Londyn, my 15-year-old daughter who has an eye for style, and who always looks good. “Do you think it’s really a phase?” I asked. “Yes, it’s just a temporary change I’ve been having since girl’s camp. In fact, I even dressed nicer at girl’s camp than I’ve dressed this week. All I want to wear are big T-shirts and comfy pants and shorts. But, I know it won’t last. Soon, I’ll want to dress up again. As long as the summer days are lazy and we aren’t seeing a lot of people I’ll probably be comfy. But, when we get back into a routine, I’ll get into my old routine again. It’s just a phase.” Londyn is definitely the …
Posted by Monica Pond on July 26, 2017
The first cellular phone became available to the public in 1984. By 2007 Apple had made the Apple iPhone, which has since taken the cellular phone world by storm. In 23 short years, society went from brick-sized phones to handheld computers. Today, smart phones are everywhere. Even many of the tribal people in Africa now carry smart phones. It’s not rare to see a tribal warrior with a spear in one hand and a smart phone in the other. Recently, I was speaking with a gentleman about our family’s choice to only have one cellular phone for our children to share. The phone belongs to Mom and Dad, and the children can use it when they leave the home to babysit, work, or when they simply drive some place. But it’s a “dumb phone” with no data. It only has the capability to make calls and send a text message. …
Posted by Monica Pond on November 5, 2016
Chris W. shared this shocking story with me about his experience last week with his son at a California park. “My son and I were playing soccer at a park in the bay area of California. Multiple African American boys came up to my son and started punching him in the head for no reason. When I attempted to stop the beating of my son, an Asian woman yelled at me and called me names and referred to me as ‘privileged.’ I was so shocked. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me and my son in the bay area where I grew up.” Who is teaching our children about relationships, discrimination, equality, and love now? And, what are the lessons? As society becomes more wild, we need to examine the teaching and media messages that are producing this kind of incivility, prejudice, and hostility. Although not …
Posted by Monica Pond on May 17, 2021
A Mother’s Question About Building Self Esteem In Children “Emma said to me at bedtime that she thinks that she’s ugly. I’m not exactly sure where she heard this since I’m always telling her how cute she is, but what would you say to your kids if they said that?”
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on March 23, 2012
Think of the voices that surround our children. Voices leading children to love money, God, family, power, popularity, prestige, entitlement, activism, intellectual achievement, personal worth, truth, pleasure-seeking, time wasting, productivity, industry, judgment, despair, and more. It’s easy to see how some of these voices mislead and hurt a child’s potential. Yet, these voices oftentimes come from people who say, or even think, that they are helping children. No matter the voice, the child is influenced. But, two voices have a greater power to win the heart and loyalty of the children; the parents. It’s toward parents, these key players in the advancement of society and morality, that our devotion should lean. “German novelist Jean Paul observed, ‘The conscience of children is formed by the influences that surround them; their notions of good and evil are the result of the moral atmosphere they breathe.’ For new human beings the …
Posted by Monica Pond on March 7, 2021