For a while now I have been meaning to address this issue. It is a large issue facing teens, parents, and whole families these days. While I know there are many opinions on when and how people should engage in sexual activity, I subscribe to the opinion that no teenager is ready for the commitment […]
Sexually Active Teens: How To Find Out And Be Proactive Read More »
“My 2yo has started crying a LOT the past few days. Over every little thing. Nothing is different physically or environmentally that I can tell. He already has his 2yo molars, too.. He’s just been crying about everything that he doesn’t like, with some pretty good tantrums thrown in the mix of the average crying. I tried holding him in timeout (he’s never stayed in time out on his own so far), but he screamed and threw a serious tantrum the whole time.. which wouldn’t be a problem for me except that I have to take care of the other kids, too! I tried holding him in our time-out spot until he was done with the tantrum so I could praise him for being happy, etc., but after 40 minutes of continuous screaming, my baby was also crying, needing to be fed, and the other young kids had destroyed the basement. At that point I just took him to his bed to finish his crying fit. So I’m thinking the holding in time out option might not work for us. Yesterday and today I’ve started just taking him to his room when he starts having a breaking down crying fit. What would you suggest? Do you think I should just take him to his room every time he cries? Or should I try
Tips For Using Time-out With Toddlers Read More »
We used you family standard made some changes and put it in our family book. My question is, do you have a family mission statement?
I am so glad you liked the standard. Ours is also in our family meeting book. Here is our family mission statement: ~Nicholeen
Our Mission Statement Read More »
How do you help your children stand up for what’s right without being “preachy” or “goody-goody”?
The most importantskill you can teach your child is how to determine what is right and what is wrong and how to choose right and stay away from wrong. This is the whole reason children need parents. If my child can’t match his outfits, doesn’t know how to do mathematics well, never changes his bed sheets, ortalks with his mouth full, it doesn’t really matter at all if he has mastered how to discern between what is right and what is wrong and chooses to follow right.
Dealing with Friends part 4 Read More »
“I was just wondering, when trying to set up this type of family government for the first time, does it take several family meetings before you can actually implement it? You talk about how each meeting shouldn’t be longer than 20 minutes, but if I’m understanding properly, to begin we need to talk about a family vision, come up with a mission statement, teach everyone the four basic skills (and practice them), and create a family standard…all the things seem to build on each other, so it sounds like it would take longer than twenty minutes to go through all of it properly bef
“He that cannot bear with other people’s passions, cannot govern his own.” ~Benjamin Franklin
This applies, in many ways, to self-government.
“You mentioned you have touching rules for friends, family, and neighbors–do you mind sharing them?”
There are rules and boundaries for touching for different groups of people. Know what they are and make sure your kids know what they are too.
“My husband works at a jail and just a few weeks ago a man we both know from school and church was brought in on sexual charges. His niece was supposedly the victim. Both of us were very surprised, as we wouldn’t have expected him of doing such a thing. Whether he is guilty or not, we will probably never know.However, after discussing it, we both thought that not only is it important to try to protect our children from this type of thing, we also need to take steps to protect OURSELVES and our own reputations.”
The Times We Live In Part 2 Read More »
A reader wrote to me telling me about a young neighborhood child that introduced things of a sexual nature to her daughter. This is not a fun subject. I have been avoiding putting it on the site, but the more I think about it, this topic is probably one of the biggest things parents face. How do we keep our children free from the disease of sexual impurity that seems to be taking over our world? How do we make them aware while not taking away their innocence?
The Times We Live In Part 1 Read More »
My husband is a neat and tidy sort of a person. There was a time when our family was living out of laundry baskets instead of closets and drawers, because I just wasn’t able to stay on top of the laundry like I would have liked to.Spencer suggested the topic of having a set time for the laundry to be done and put away. I didn’t make any comments, because I didn’t want to get involved in his problem solving.Figuring out what someone wants is the first step for helping them have ownership of their thoughts and actions. Problem solving in relationships requires discerning what the person really wants in order to see what is needed to inspire change in the person.
Step #1– Ask him
Fathers: Parent or Playmate Part 3 Read More »
We have just made a pretty good argument for Dad’s to parent differently and have different experiences with their children. However, having a different God given role doesn’t mean that Dad should feel separated from the flow of the home. In fact, it is important that Dad should view himself as a co-president of the family business. Families should be run just as effectively as a business.
Fathers: Parent or Playmate Part 2 Read More »
I have had many questions latelyasking if fathers should parent different andhow to help fatherbecome part of mother’s vision for the family. There are many different situations and personalities, so there areprobably many ways to treat each different relationship.I am going to share some of what I have learned about fathers and what I havedoneto
Fathers: Parent or Playmate Part 1 Read More »
FAMILY
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
‘Oh excuse me please’ was my reply.
He said, ‘Please excuse me too;
I wasn’t watching for you.’
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story !
I was sitting on the couch today going over plans for our next trip when my six year old daughter, Londyn, sat down next to me and said, “We have to go to Virginia because you want to make the world better, don’t you? Not just our family, but other families too.” I said, “Yes” and smiled. I didn’t need to say anything else. It was very clear to me that she had developed an understanding of my mission. As a family, we talk about mission a lot. We try to analyze what other people’s missions might be. We talk about what kinds of skills we need to develop to find our personal mission
Mission By Example Read More »
In order to teach our children how to govern themselves in a family setting, we have to give them a vision, or picture of what the family is workingtoward. This vision, or goal, begins the family’s mission. The vision, goal, or dream is the first thing the family starts with to acheive mission. The concept of personal mission and family mission is both inspiring and overwhelming. Will it be hard to do? Why were we picked for this mission? Why don’t I have my personal mission yet? The list of questions could continue. I have found a book that tells a parable about mission.
Have A Mission Book Read More »
Sometimes when parents start teaching their children how to govern themselves, the children start to fight against the new system. Many people don’t cope with change well, and children are often more anxious during times of change than adults. People look at whatever they have become as normal and comfortable.We don’t like to step out of our comfort zones and start fresh in a whole new environment, especially when we knowthat we will never get the old environment back in this case.
In our family meeting this Sundaya topicwas brought up that our family needs to do more service. We asked for suggestions. After going over many options, we decided that Dad would call aranch in our community that might need our help and see if we could come do some REAL hard WORK.
Character Building Read More »
A lot of children have selective hearing; have you noticed? Some of this selective hearing is planned and some isn’t. They really don’t hear us correctly sometimes. We can do something to make sure this doesn’t happen as often. Have you ever said don’t run down the hall, and the first thing your child does is run down the hall? My mom used to say to me, “Don’t talk back to me.” The first thing I did after this instruction was talk back to her. Strange. It is never a good idea to start an instruction with the word don’t, because whatever you say after don’t might be
A few days after I gave birth to my fourth child I found out that I didn’t have enough milk for him. This was very stressful. (Which I am sure didn’t help me make more milk.) I supplemented him for a long time.
“Crying Doesn’t Bug You, Right?” Read More »
I received a question from a mother who is struggling with her husband not being motivated or involved in family life. This is OUR response.
Dear Motivated Mother:
Fixing Things With Father Read More »