Seek to Understand

teen rebellion

Healthy Independence vs. Rebellion

Many parents of teen- or pre-teen-aged youth are confused about whether teenage rebellion is an attitude problem or whether the child is displaying healthy independence. When attitude problems seem like rebellion, parents wonder if rebellion is natural or simply a modern social construct that societies now think is developmentally normal. Rebellion is as old as […]

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angry teen girl chores

4 Rules to Remember for When They Try to Correct You

“Is it okay for children to correct their parents?” I often get asked by parents who are hoping to be just in their parenting. My answer to them is, “Well, that all depends how and when it’s done. There is a right way and a wrong way to correct children, and for children to correct

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charitable parenting

Charitable Parenting

Even though the mistakes our children make are glaring us in the face, we also know that each of our children has certain attributes that make them wonderful, individual, and precious to us. Charitable parents focus more on those good, productive attributes than on the negative mistakes their children make daily. Each week I answer

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gracious

Grace is Behind the Thanks: Just Ask Mom

This Thanksgiving Day is dedicated to feeling and expressing gratitude for our blessings. Are you grateful for who you are and the roles you have? Two Mothers Two mothers, Tina and Katy, are watching the ball game of their oldest sons. Their boys play for the same team. Each mother has other children busily running

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power behind change of heart

2/3 of the Power Behind a Change of Heart

“Calmness is the rarest quality in human life. It is the poise of a great nature, in harmony with itself and its ideals. It is the moral atmosphere of a life self-centred, self-reliant, and self- controlled. Calmness is singleness of purpose, absolute confidence, and conscious power — ready to be focused in an instant to

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mom with kids fighting

Surviving Mom’s Worst Day Ever!

When the famed prime minister of England, William Pitt, was asked what made him a great prime minister, he didn’t say his hard work ethic, late night hours, or perseverance. He said, “Patience.” There are many attributes that are useful to parents as they’re raising their children during this often busy world full of attitude

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Trade Time for Anger: Find Calmness and Patience

“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on

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6 Tips for Making the Most of Your Car Time Together

Despite the fact that my parents worked very hard to provide for their growing family, some experiences were memorable in an uncomfortable way. I’ll never forget driving through Death Valley during the summer. It was 105 degrees in the middle of the night. We did our best to keep us all from roasting to death

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mom and teen

Stopping Conflicts Before They Start

A friend of mine asked me what she could do for her teenage exchange student. This student was in the middle of a multiple, day-long teenage tantrum. The mother had told her exchange student that she couldn’t attend a sleepover because the family doesn’t do sleepovers. The teenage exchange student, in turn, became very emotional

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How to Reach the Heart of Your Child… and Yourself

Reaching a child’s heart is vital for awakening his conscience and morally training him to desire to make good choices, but structure also has a part to play in training the heart. This is a true story, and a new parenting lesson, of how to help a person understand the truths behind your teachings. Structure

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Stories

10 Ways to Create Stories That Unite Us

My son, Porter, loves to visit a restaurant near our home named “Porter’s Place”. Recently our family was eating there around a big round table and one of the children said, “Dad, tell us that story from your childhood about the fire you shouldn’t have started in the field near your home.” At this point

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TalkingCalmly

“Every time you’re silly, somebody always gets hurt.”

I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes, when all of the sudden the happy children noises from the basement changed into cries and yells. I remember distinctly hearing a sad noise or yell from each of my four children. Now, doing the dishes seemed fun compared with sorting out what happened in the basement. I dried my hands and took a deep breath. I wanted to make sure I was calmso that the obviously stressful situation wouldn’t control my emotions. A clear head and calm soul can change hearts and teach minds.

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