Have you ever completely lost control of yourself and you weren’t exactly sure why? This can happen to anyone. This usually means that you’ve been triggered in some way. There’s so much talk about emotional triggers nowadays that triggers are turning into common excuses for poor behavior. Could it be that we might sometimes be interpreting bad triggers as good and good triggers as bad? Triggers can be used for good or bad. If you understand how your feelings impact your thoughts and actions you can train yourself to use those pesky negative triggers as triggers for good thoughts and behavior instead of bad. Even calmness can be positively triggered by what used to be a bad trigger, if the person has properly replaced the bad trigger with a good one. That’s what this article’s all about. Understanding Triggers Everyone has triggers, not just people with anxiety or trauma-filled pasts. …
Posted by Monica Pond on September 7, 2020
The success of thefamily depends upon each family member feeling valued and fulfilling their full potential. In this one ofa kind video Nicholeen and David talk about how men are facing an identity crisis and how women and men both need to be valued for future familial success.
Posted by David Eggertsen on April 15, 2015
The success of the family depends upon each family member feeling valued and fulfilling their full potential. In this one of a kind video Nicholeen and David talk about how men are facing an identity crisis and how women and men both need to be valued for future familial success.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on March 25, 2015
When I first decided to leave my high-paying career to stay home with my toddler son and daughter, I had to remind myself that I was picking the greater good. I was in the funeral industry and was really needed at an important time in people’s lives: the death of a loved one. I felt really needed at the office, but the pull to be with my young children daily seemed to be more important in the long term.To achieve my motherhood goal,I chose to become a foster parent for troubled teens to help pay the bills while my husband returned to school.So, I left my power position to be “just a mom” and put my whole heart and soul into my role. I read to my children, taught them, played with them, and helped them overcome challenges. As we dove into family life with a passion, we helped to …
Posted by Monica Pond on May 31, 2019
The role of fatherhood seems to have been under attack for a good portion of my 42 years of life. When I was very young, I watched “The Brady Bunch.” It featured a smart and socially appropriate father whose children turned to him for wisdom. Other programs like “Little House on the Prairie” also had strong fathers. In that show “Pa,” or Charles Ingalls, was the wisest man in just about all of Walnut Grove. However, gradually fathers like Mike Brady, Andy Griffith and Charles Ingalls were replaced in pop culture media by weak — and eventually even dysfunctional — fathers who didn’t know enough to lead their families or navigate life’s problems. This attack on the role of fathers seems too intentional to be a mistake. Are fathers in the media portrayed as dimwit dads and bumbling or even savage idiots because dysfunction sells? Or could it be something …
Posted by Monica Pond on June 14, 2017
My husband is a neat and tidy sort of a person. There was a time when our family was living out of laundry baskets instead of closets and drawers, because I just wasn’t able to stay on top of the laundry like I would have liked to.Spencer suggested the topic of having a set time for the laundry to be done and put away. I didn’t make any comments, because I didn’t want to get involved in his problem solving.Figuring out what someone wants is the first step for helping them have ownership of their thoughts and actions. Problem solving in relationships requires discerning what the person really wants in order to see what is needed to inspire change in the person. Step #1- Ask him
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 15, 2008
We have just made a pretty good argument for Dad’s to parent differently and have different experiences with their children. However, having a different God given role doesn’t mean that Dad should feel separated from the flow of the home. In fact, it is important that Dad should view himself as a co-president of the family business. Families should be run just as effectively as a business.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 14, 2008
I have had many questions latelyasking if fathers should parent different andhow to help fatherbecome part of mother’s vision for the family. There are many different situations and personalities, so there areprobably many ways to treat each different relationship.I am going to share some of what I have learned about fathers and what I havedoneto help myhusband and our relationship.For the next few days, I will give segments of a very long answer to the question below. I think that this long answer will answer most ofthe other questions too. Ifyou find your question about fathers stillisn’t answered afterall the segmentshave been published, then please ask. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” How do I get Dad to be an equal partner in the parenting?When he comes home, he only wants to play. Before I …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 13, 2008
“Mom! Mom! Mom!” said a boy at the swimming pool one day.The boy’s mother didn’t answer back. She was busy setting up her pool chair.“Mom! Can you get me my swim noodle? Mom?” the boy repeated.The mother still said nothing. The anxiety was obviously building in the boy.Soon, the mother was annoyed with the boy. She walked over to him with his noodle and hit him with it on the head. “If I hear you say my name one more time, you’ll get it,”she said.The boy, about age eight, dropped his head and swam away. He didn’t get what he wanted; some support and love from his mother. And, after the interaction with his mother, he felt alone.Why would a mother not want to hear her name? At the end of Les Miserables, Jean ValJean said that being called father was the sweetest word he ever heard. It was what …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on July 19, 2013
Considering the consistent shouts for equality for women and the blatant attacks on motherhood, motherhood needs defending. I’m fairly certain public school had a negative effect on me and my identity. When I was a small girl, I loved nothing more than playing house, taking care of my baby dolls, and babysitting. But, by the time I was in the fifth grade, even though I still requested new dolls for gift-giving holidays, I stopped telling my friends I wanted to be a mom. In fact, I was pretty sure it wasn’t cool to want to be a mom. At school, teachers talked about all the great things women could do that men did, but being a mother and having a child was never one of them. I guess that’s because men can’t have babies and become mothers. The teachers’ message was that all boys and girls were supposed to be …
Posted by Monica Pond on April 5, 2017
How do you help your children stand up for what’s right without being “preachy” or “goody-goody”? The most importantskill you can teach your child is how to determine what is right and what is wrong and how to choose right and stay away from wrong. This is the whole reason children need parents. If my child can’t match his outfits, doesn’t know how to do mathematics well, never changes his bed sheets, ortalks with his mouth full, it doesn’t really matter at all if he has mastered how to discern between what is right and what is wrong and chooses to follow right.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on November 18, 2008
4 year old Avery Vidrine explained fathers like this, “They work hard, slay dragons, and love us!” This 4 year old girl obviously knows what it means to be a father and a protector. She has seen evidence in her own life. Her mother, Emily, said that Avery sends her father off to work every day with the phrase, “Now Prince Charming, go slay the dragons but be safe!” Avery knows her father keeps her safe from dragons and other scary things and knows her father loves her enough to go away from her each day and do all that hard work. Obviously her mother has helped her have gratitude and understanding for her father’s way of life. But as I heard Emily talk about the great trust her young daughter has in her father I wondered if Avery really knew what dragons an honorable father must fight to maintain …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 19, 2016