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Out of Instructional Control

Support Call 3-4-16

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This call covers:

  • Schedule switch-up for March!
  • How to access the BBC “The World’s Strictest Parents” video.
  • 5-year-old is really big and it’s physically dangerous to hold him in the Calm Down Spot. Tried the Rule of Three and it’s worked mostly with him. Don’t like switching though. Thoughts?
  • 20-month-old won’t stay in bed and hits his siblings.
  • Engaging with child’s therapist and getting child to open up.
  • Just starting homeschool and needing tips.

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Support Call 1-8-16

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This call covers:

  • Resolutions: repentance and deliberate action.
  • How to structure family scripture study with a wide age range of children.
  • A good system to keep the house clean.
  • Son is obsessed with making money so that he can buy video games that we don’t approve of. Help!
  • Raging and manipulation when going through the Rule of Three.

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Support Call 9-18-15

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This call covers:

  • My child, age 6, can’t even look at me when I’m giving him an instruction. How can he follow an instruction if he can’t even look at me?
  • My 5-year-old son is great at telling me what to do when he earns an extra chore, but when he actually earns one, he goes completely out of control. What do I do?
  • My husband doesn’t like to participate in family meetings. Is it possible to have meetings without Dad? Can we still have family unity?
  • My children don’t like to redo things when they do something wrong. How do I help them participate in redoing a situation?
  • How many times can you go into the Rule of Three? My son keeps getting distracted and I’ll start it, then he’ll calm down. But three minutes later, we’ll be back in the same place all over again. How does this work exactly?

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Support Call 8-7-15

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This call covers:

  • My family doesn’t like deliberate talk and family meetings don’t really work. Is it even worth it to do them?
  • My age 12 son has become very rude and disrespectful to me and the rest of the family. Name calling and “poop jokes” are normal for him. How do I help him fix it?
  • We’ve just started implementing TSG and our 5-year-old son can’t accept a “no” answer. He runs away and is rude. What do we do?
  • Where do you go to get a lift and/or encouragement? Do you ever feel depressed? And, what do you think about birth order?
  • My 3-year-old runs away when it’s time to go to the calm down spot. What do I do about that?

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Support Call 7-31-15

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This call covers:

  • Teaching homeschool while keeping the house clean. How do I keep it all going?
  • We’re new to TSG and have 4 children. Our 14-year-old is struggling with following instructions and being calm. What do we do?
  • My aged 14 son has come back to live with me after being a whole year with his dad and in public school with no boundaries. He says he hates me, won’t do anything I say, and does anything he can to show me how much he dislikes me. How do I help him?
  • What happens when you’ve gone through the Rule of Three and your child isstillout of control. What do I do?

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Support Call 7-24-15

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This call covers:

  • The meaning of pioneers
  • How to fix complacency at home and at work
  • Age 11 son is constantly whining. How to help him be okay
  • Keeping two 14-month-old babies from hurting themselves during a tantrum
  • Knowing what the appropriate amount of friend time for young children is
  • Being emotionally attached to a “no” answer, including in role plays
  • Helping age 5 son see that he hasearneda consequence, not that it wasgiven
  • Explaining the “why” of boundaries
  • Gaining respect for adults outside of your own family

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Support Call 1-24-14

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Friday’s call was full of so many good questions! Here they are:

  • If someone walks away during the Rule of Three, do they immediately earn a total loss of all priviledges?
  • My son has ADHD and I have a light case of ADD. He doesn’t know he has it yet, but I’m hesitant to tell him. He gets angry easily and doesn’t like the Rule of Three. Is it okay to give him time to calm down before starting the Rule of Three?
  • What is it with 11-year-olds? They seem to be the focus of a lot of the questions. I have an 11-year-old and I need to know what to do besides accept hard knocks. What would would you suggest?
  • I want to have a Mentor Session with my ADHD son, but my husband thinks it wouldn’t go well. How would I run the Mentor Session and should I have one?
  • My daughter stole out from midnight until two. Therefore, I didn’t let her go to a dance the next night. She was given an iPod and she has now bought herself one as well. She has accounts on it that are not good and she didn’t receive permission for those or the iPod itself. I’ve thought of multiple consequences for this. I’m usually fine if she tells me, on her own, that she’s made a mistake. But if I find out on my own, it bugs me a lot. What should I do?
  • My 4-year-old son lost his movie priviledge and doesn’t care that it’s gone. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. If I took him to Time Out, is it okay to hold him there?
  • My son is often out of instructional control. When he is, he thinks he can do whatever he wants. He’s gone for 9 days of being out of control before. He teases his siblings and likes “talk time” because that is his love language. How would you recommend I handle this?
  • How do I bring together my job and my mission?
  • What can I do to teach my 14-year-old daughter and myself social skills? Also, others are judging my decisions for schooling.

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Conference Call 11-16-12

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This call covers:

  • Correcting behavior while traveling and what to do when you have different standards from the people you are visiting.Falling off the TSG wagon and getting back up.What to do when you spouse isn’t on board.
  • 14 year old manipulative son and Disagreeing Appropriately
  • Loss of privileges on a Sunday. Daughter plans her loss of privileges to happen when she can’t lose them.
  • Discouragement
  • When and how to teach the family the TSG program
  • Children’s friends who keep bringing electronic devices to the house. What to do about it.
  • Role Play Ideas for making it more fun, staying away from bribing and the upcoming video
  • Pulling yourself out of a slump

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boyOnTimeOut

Toddler Tantrums: Positive Parenting Solutions

9 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Nicholeen, Your peaceful parenting methods obviously work so well with older children and troubled teenagers. But, I have a house full of little children. Each day I face terrible twos, three year old tantrums, and four year old tantrums. Can children this young learn to govern themselves too? Answer: How ToStopTantrums This article is NOT

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Support Call 11-11-11

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This call covers:

  • 11-11-11! Such a fun day! And, starting presale for first Children’s book, “Londyn Larae Says Okay”
  • Instituting a “no sleep overs” policy. Age 16 son is furious about it.
  • Putting in place specific consequences for things such as running away, suicide attempts, etc.
  • What happens to 18-year-olds when they go to jail and misbehave.

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Conference Call 4-22-11

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Nicholeen shares 3 Tips.

Tip 1: Talks about how to help those who are feeling overwhelmed with life or feel anxiety about whether their communication is received properly. (This includes: mothering, parenting, homeschooling, etc.)

Tip 2: Talks about vision and how we achieve becoming who we want to be come or what mission we want to obtain.

Tip 3: Talks about capacity and how to get everything accomplished.

Questions:

  • I’m having major issues with my 12 year old son. I don’t want to seem him, he is extremely out of control and acting like he is 7 years old. What do I do?
  • Will I have access to this program and material after the initial 10-12 weeks? The support calls are monthly subscription to continue. But you will still have access to the information on the Implementation course. (Updated as of summer 2014)
  • I’ve been struggling with our 20 year vision for our family since I first heard you talk. How do I make and achieve this?
  • What does a Time-out look like for little children as compared to the Rule of 3?
  • How is Teaching Self Government different from Love and Logic (giving choices)?
  • My 3 year old threw a trantrum and I had to take him into the hallway and leave my other children inside by themselves, what do you recommend for this type of situation?
  • I am struggling with distractions while trying to run the household and a homeschool. How do I know if am being successful?
  • Nicholeen recommends balancing and prioritizing. Top 6 Priorities

Conference Call 4-22-11 Read More »

Conference Call 4-15-11

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Nicholeen shares some stories about the importance of having a vision for you and your children. She is often contacted by individuals who have see in the BBC show. She tells about a girl who is lost and not sure what to do with her life and is considering apprenticing as a piercing person.

  • What if your child (or teenager) doesn’t care about the family vision or says it is stupid? That’s what seems to be happening with one of our kids.Nicholeen shares 5 ideas about vision.
  • I have a question about the content of vision. Would it be bad to make our family being in the rodeo as part of our vision?Or do I just change the vision if my children’s interests change.
  • 7 year old not calm after rule of 3 and needs to be taken out of the room. I can’t take him due to back it sends me into panic mode. He doesn’t like to be taken there. But he is attention seeking with the tantrum. 5 second rule. Power struggle mode. Soft hold. Exception to rule. Be intuitive. Special moment, counseling session. I noticed good. I noticed every so often you arent happy. I decided in order to help you be happy to do a soft hold. You are in bondage to your emotions and I am going to free you.
  • Help! I need advice as soon as possible. We just found out that our 17 year old has been drinking he was twice the legal limit and has been smoking 4 cigerettes per day. He needs to go to detox and a smoking cessation program. What do we do?
  • My 17 year old daughter makes mountains out of mole holes in regards to computer time and her social life. She will get really upset. She’s is a really good girl and the extreme is that she recently started cutting herself. Part of it is my fault since we really don’t have a structure in place for.

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Conference Call 4-8-11

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After her brother’s wedding Nicholeen shares a nugget of wisdom“Receiving your Spouse”. She discusses the importance of receiving and improving your relationship with your spouse, gives an assessment, and discusses the3 Types of Communication.

Questions:

  • My husband thinks I am too much of a softy and that kids need more aggressive measures than just talking about it. So do I go his way or make him come my way?
  • My children are 10, 12, and14 year olds but they act like 3 year olds. The feeling in the house is total contention there’s been fighting, squabbling, teasing, sibling rivalry, they are being destructive.My goal to stay calm. What do I do?
  • Talking helps me understand my thoughts.What do I do when there is something I need to talk concerning my spouse? I know you mentioned that we shouldn’t talk behind our spouses back?
  • We are trying to implement things in your book. I have older kids who don’t care for the changes. My husband says we need to get back to core and back to the relationships with them. How do you suggest we start implementing Self-Government?

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Conference Call 4-1-11

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In this conference call:

  • Original Implementation Course Information (Initial Launch)
  • Expectations about Parenting – Exceed them!
  • Weaknesses
  • Goals
  • Writing your story
  • Using The 4 Keys to address an issue
  • Time Out
  • Emotional Children
  • Recognizing Problems
  • Rule of 3 with younger children/Loss of privileges
  • 3 Year olds screaming all the time
  • Dramatic ouchies

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AdobeStock_33734591

Mom’s hang-up

1 Comment / All, Relationships, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“Thanks so much for all the wisdom and inspiration you share.  I have a son (age 11) who zapps so much emotional energy from me.  Over the last several months, I’ve really been trying to see things as they are and trying to determine how to handle things.  He is a great kid.  He’s the first one to help a younger sibling who is hurt or to give up his ice cream cone is one of his younger siblings dropped theirs.  He is also the one who complains the most, rolls his eyes back into his head and gets “that look” when things do not go his way.  I know that he is often “out of instructi

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teenage boy on bed

Using The Bedroom As A Consequence

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

How does 24 hours loss of privilegeswork in your house? Let’s say a13 year old boydoesn’t want to get on board. Buthe shouldn’t be allowed to just hole up in his room away from the rest of the family!However, I have foundthat sending him to sit on his bed is the most effective thingthat can be done.

Consequences are so individual. I don’t expe

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