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Whose Fault is It?
About five years ago I met a couple who seemed to have happiness in marriage completely figured out. They shared some of their secrets with me. One of them has made a huge impact on our home. It is called Odd and Even days.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 21, 2008
What Inspires Sibling Rivalry?
Fighting over seat positions in the car, teasing, bragging, one-uping… Does any of this sound familiar? Do situations like these arise frequently in your home between your children? These situations are classified assibling rivalry.It can be very distracting and disruptive in the home.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 28, 2016
What Breaks Relationships And How To Fix Them
Relationships require selfless service to survive. Although there are multiple reasons people site for their relationship dysfunctions, from infidelity to arguments, relationship problems usually all have two things in common: dishonesty and selfishness. According to The Institute For Family Studies, the leading causes of divorce are: infidelity, incompatibility, drinking or drug use, growing apart, a lack of commitment, and too much arguing. In my own studies of families who are working to overcome dysfunctional family relationships and fractured family bonds through Teaching Self-Government parenting services, I’ve noticed that the main causes of broken or damaged family bonds can be grouped into a handful of reasons. These reasons include: lack of communication, laziness, not valuing family, arguing and fights, lies and manipulations, excuses for bad behavior, disrespect for parental authority and position of the child, losing common values, and only being concerned with one’s own feelings and wants. Every reason listed …
Posted by Monica Pond on December 28, 2020
What Are Your Successes? Part Two
This is part two of Teaching Self-Government success stories! Enjoy!
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 5, 2016
What a Mother Wants Most!
It’s often said that “a mother’s work is never done.” There are multiple ways to see this sentiment. Either Mother never does her work, or Mother always has a task that needs doing, or perhaps that Mother is a mother no matter the age of her children. The first interpretation gives a negative and lazy view of Mother. The second seems to make Mother into a martyr to household chores. But, the third interpretation of this common saying offers wisdom and a vision of Mother’s key role in the lives of her family members forever. The focus of this article is this third interpretation. No matter how old her children and grandchildren grow, a mother is always invested in their welfare and concerned about their happiness and moral success. A few years ago, I came across a letter written by a mother during World War Two. It was a response …
Posted by Monica Pond on May 9, 2018
Want Bonding? How To Have More Laughs!
“Look Mom, this water bottle has a description. The water is described as ‘mouth-watering water,” said Porter with a chuckle. “This water calls itself smart, but I’m not sure that description seems very smart,” he added. This was too much for me. I completely broke down into a laughing attack over this ridiculous notion that this water I was drinking was so good because it was “mouth-watering.” After I couldn’t stop laughing, then all my children and their friends who were visiting broke into laughter that lasted about 15 minutes. Following our group laugh attack over the water, other silly stories were shared including one of our favorite books, “A Triune Tale of Diminutive Swine.” Then more and more laughs… Laughing draws people in and makes them feel comfortable and part of the group. It was especially good that we ended up having so many laughs that night because we …
Posted by Monica Pond on June 1, 2021
Trade Time for Anger: Find Calmness and Patience
“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on fresh honey. As a beekeeper, I understand what part of getting honey Pooh never bothered to do: observe the actions of the bees and himself around the bees. When someone approaches the hive, a few guard bees automatically tip forward on their front legs, extending their stingers in the air. If the person coming toward the hive doesn’t retreat, then the bees start to fly at the person and push their stingers into the intruder. When bees sting, they die. Sir Francis Bacon said, “Men must not turn [into] bees.” When a person puts his …
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Posted by Monica Pond on March 1, 2018
The Data About Dads and Child Self-Confidence
“Go long Porter!” said Dad to his 15-year-old son as they played Frisbee in the circle in front of our home. Dad and Porter throw Frisbees regularly in the evening. Am I mad that my husband is playing games with his son instead of helping me with the dinner preparation? No way! That play time is more vital that even he realizes. In fact, it’s because of that play time that Porter wants to work with his dad and be like his dad one day. It’s also one of the big factors in Porter’s confidence and high standards.Sometimes dads are given criticism for being a little bit too light-hearted, playful, or getting the children all wound up at the wrong times — like when it’s time for bed.When I was a little girl my dad would say, “Time for bed. How are we getting there tonight?” At this point, we …
Posted by Monica Pond on June 13, 2019
Surviving Mom’s Worst Day Ever!
When the famed prime minister of England, William Pitt, was asked what made him a great prime minister, he didn’t say his hard work ethic, late night hours, or perseverance. He said, “Patience.” There are many attributes that are useful to parents as they’re raising their children during this often busy world full of attitude problems, disconnection, and every day mishaps. But nothing is so vital as patience. There is one simple skill that, if kept in mind, makes patience for parents a bit easier. Recently, while speaking to a group in Washington, a worn out mother asked me a question following some discussion on how to stay clam while parenting through difficult parenting situations. She said something like, “What do you do when too much has happened in a day to be able to stay calm? What do you do when you’ve fallen down some stairs that day, another …
Posted by Monica Pond on October 29, 2018
Support Call 9-18-19
This Call Covers:In detail explanation of he rule of threeChildren who say really alarming thingsHelping children to adjust to a divorceYoung children and stress
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 20, 2019
Support Call 9-18-15
This call covers: My child, age 6, can’t even look at me when I’m giving him an instruction. How can he follow an instruction if he can’t even look at me? My 5-year-old son is great at telling me what to do when he earns an extra chore, but when he actually earns one, he goes completely out of control. What do I do? My husband doesn’t like to participate in family meetings. Is it possible to have meetings without Dad? Can we still have family unity? My children don’t like to redo things when they do something wrong. How do I help them participate in redoing a situation? How many times can you go into the Rule of Three? My son keeps getting distracted and I’ll start it, then he’ll calm down. But three minutes later, we’ll be back in the same place all over again. How does this …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 23, 2015
Support Call 9-17-20
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-16-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hi Nicholeen, I homeschool 5 children and have a 2 year old toddler. I am introvert with a load of high energy spirited children and one ADHD child. All the talking that’s involved in homeschooling and then all the talking involved in the TSG is hard on me. I hate having to stop a lesson with one child to correct another because it disrupts the flow of the lessons and so I want the bad behavior to stop immediately without having to do a long correction with a lot of talking. If I leave the one who I am teaching to correct another, the child I was teaching gets distracted and goes off to play or starts talking to another sibling and/or getting silly. Then it takes time to get them to transition back to their lessons. Having someone leave to do an extra chore throws …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 26, 2020