Bethany, a troubled parent, recently shared a shocking story that all too often illustrates what parents nowadays are dealing with: “After we caught our 11-year-old son sending pornographic photos of himself to strangers on Snapchat, we took his phone away. We told him he could have it back in a couple of weeks, but that he needed to learn his behavior was wrong. He is so upset now that he sulks around the house and never talks to friends or us. We feel like we’ve ruined his happiness and that he’s lacking socially because he doesn’t have his phone. In fact, we’re pretty sure he’s dealing with depression. This has us worried because he has said suicidal things in the past when he received negative consequences. Is there a better way to handle this situation? Did we do the right thing?” Modern times has brought with it complexity to parenting …

Modern Times Call for Pioneering Parenting Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on July 12, 2017

During this time of year when there are lists of things to do and places to go, don’t forget this one simple truth: people are more important than things. People are worth more of our focus than lists. We may think that the lists of things make the holiday perfect for the people, but that isn’t true. While it is true that a loving effort for a nice occasion is noticed and appreciated, it is also true that a stressed-out parent at a perfect occasion ruins the occasion all together. No gift, list, or event is worth disconnecting from the people or damaging relationships.When you are working on your lists of holiday plans this year, make yourself this promise: “I will allow myself to be interrupted by my children and bond to them. I will look them in the eyes and listen to what they say. I will treat my …

Making Any Holiday the Perfect Holiday Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on December 23, 2019

One thing that fails first on low energy days is parenting consistency. Parents start not seeing or correcting mistakes because they are distracted by their low energy.

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 11, 2014

Janae and Trisha both have a 12-year-old son who has a habit of being defiant. Each woman struggles with having the confidence to help her son change his behaviors during his outbursts. So why is Trisha’s son making so much more progress on staying calm and listening to her than Janae’s? Why is Trisha’s confidence growing and Janae’s confidence getting worse? Trisha loves some things that Janae hates: instruction and reproof. She loves being instructed and making changes to her behaviors. This process requires self-analysis and creating new plans to fit her goals. Trisha deliberately works to improve her confidence in teaching her son and developing their relationship. She also loves giving instructions and corrections to her son. She knows that even though it takes more time and effort, there’s nothing more important for her son at this time than to teach him and bond with him. Her son feels …

Love of Instructions and Reproof Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on August 30, 2018

This is the time of year the focus of the world is on education and preparing our children to learn and grow toward success. We enroll the children in classes, schools, programs and activities in hopes they will get an education to prepare them for the future. Is our current educational plan adequate for the future our children will face? How can we know what they will need when the future is uncertain? Will foreign languages, advanced math classes, and programs designed to enhance talents be enough? What is most important? The Beginning of Schooling in America Today there are a few educational theorists who believe that if parents would get out of the way then children would be free to get a better education. However, the majority of society still knows that children need direction and instruction from wise adults and parents throughout their education because proper moral development …

Lest We Forget: The Vision of Educating Young People Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on September 7, 2017

“You have blessed our lives and our families so much.” “Thank you so much for coming to teach us! You have to come back. Kenya is a big place. We need more teachings like this.” “I have to admit that I never thought anything good ever comes from America. You have proven me wrong. This is good and I am going to teach it to everyone I can.” “I have just started using self-government in my home and already my children have given up their cell phones and are disagreeing appropriately.” “These self-government teachings are going to change Kenya in a good way. Now we just need to spread them.” These are just a few of the expressions of gratitude I’ve received since our self-government teachings in Kenya began on Nov. 2, 2015. After 21 days in Kenyan we’re finally back home to the colder November temperatures we’re used to. …

Kenyans Show Gratitude For Self-Government Teachings: Our Report Read More »

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on November 25, 2015

“Mom, I think I’m in a phase where I just want to dress comfortable instead of cute. For the last couple of weeks, I don’t even think about dressing nice,” said Londyn, my 15-year-old daughter who has an eye for style, and who always looks good. “Do you think it’s really a phase?” I asked. “Yes, it’s just a temporary change I’ve been having since girl’s camp. In fact, I even dressed nicer at girl’s camp than I’ve dressed this week. All I want to wear are big T-shirts and comfy pants and shorts. But, I know it won’t last. Soon, I’ll want to dress up again. As long as the summer days are lazy and we aren’t seeing a lot of people I’ll probably be comfy. But, when we get back into a routine, I’ll get into my old routine again. It’s just a phase.” Londyn is definitely the …

Is That Behavior a Phase or a Warning Sign? Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on July 26, 2017

The first cellular phone became available to the public in 1984. By 2007 Apple had made the Apple iPhone, which has since taken the cellular phone world by storm. In 23 short years, society went from brick-sized phones to handheld computers. Today, smart phones are everywhere. Even many of the tribal people in Africa now carry smart phones. It’s not rare to see a tribal warrior with a spear in one hand and a smart phone in the other. Recently, I was speaking with a gentleman about our family’s choice to only have one cellular phone for our children to share. The phone belongs to Mom and Dad, and the children can use it when they leave the home to babysit, work, or when they simply drive some place. But it’s a “dumb phone” with no data. It only has the capability to make calls and send a text message. …

Is Giving a Child a Smart Phone Smart? Facts to Consider Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on November 5, 2016

Chris W. shared this shocking story with me about his experience last week with his son at a California park. “My son and I were playing soccer at a park in the bay area of California. Multiple African American boys came up to my son and started punching him in the head for no reason. When I attempted to stop the beating of my son, an Asian woman yelled at me and called me names and referred to me as ‘privileged.’ I was so shocked. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me and my son in the bay area where I grew up.”   Who is teaching our children about relationships, discrimination, equality, and love now? And, what are the lessons? As society becomes more wild, we need to examine the teaching and media messages that are producing this kind of incivility, prejudice, and hostility.   Although not …

Is Critical Race Theory Hurting Our Children? Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on May 17, 2021

A Mother’s Question About Building Self Esteem In Children “Emma said to me at bedtime that she thinks that she’s ugly. I’m not exactly sure where she heard this since I’m always telling her how cute she is, but what would you say to your kids if they said that?”

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on March 23, 2012

Two to three times per day, my 17-year-old son spontaneously comes up to me as I’m coming down the hall or when I’m standing in the kitchen, and wraps his arms around me and gives me a tender, loving hug. “Oh, Mom…I love you,” he says. These hugs are some of the highlights of my days. They truly turn our hearts toward each other. He is the youngest child of four, and all of his siblings have given me hugs each day too, even into their teenage and young adult years (when they lived at home). Hugging has become a family habit. When I married my husband, he told me that he wanted to hug his children and tell them that he loved them. This is because, even though he knew his father loved him, his World War II veteran father didn’t usually openly express his love unless it was …

Hugs, A Habit of Heart Change Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on July 26, 2021

Trapped! That’s what many people feel like they are right now. Many children are complaining of being bored, or worse, having way too much screen time. Stress is infiltrating more homes globally by the day because businesses are closing their doors, people are losing their jobs, bills are still coming due, social distancing is making people feel disconnected, and there are shortages of basic necessities at the stores. My Facebook friend, Jason, phrased it like this, “We’re all getting to understand what freedom really is now that it’s slowly being taken away from us…” So, is that trapped feeling the absence of freedom? Yes, that’s why it’s so hard to take.Having More Freedom When Freedom is TakenFreedom helps societies thrive. Luckily, in our homes, we are in charge of our own family-governments and self-governments. Despite what is happening outside the walls of our homes, the destiny of the people on …

How to Thrive When You’re Trapped Inside Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on March 20, 2020