Cleaning a Bedroom
How do you find a good consequence for a thre-year-old who won’t participate in cleaning a shared bedroom? This mother explained to me of her struggle with this issue. This is the advice I gave her.
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Consequences
Job Jar
Job jars are great, but what to put in them? How many chores can you really do around one house? Here’s a list of jobs you can use!
Using The Bedroom As A Consequence
How does 24 hours loss of privilegeswork in your house? Let’s say a13 year old boydoesn’t want to get on board. Buthe shouldn’t be allowed to just hole up in his room away from the rest of the family!However, I have foundthat sending him to sit on his bed is the most effective thingthat can be done.
Consequences are so individual. I don’t expe
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Is Hovering Necessary?
Hovering gives a message of not trusting. Ifhe thinks that you don’t trust him,he will think of himself as a dishonest person based upon your behaviors. Hovering is also a form of a power struggle. So, if you shouldn’t hover over a child to make sure that he follows through with earned consequences, or instructions that have been given, what should you do to change the behavior?
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Do You See What I See?
Over the last year, my niece has gone through a change. The once happy, helpful girl changed into a whiny, depressed, girl that didn’t look at life the same. One day I got left home with the all the children whilethe adultswent shopping. While I was home with the children I started giving instructions for everyone to clean things up around the house. My niece started arguing with me, then she started whining, then she started complaining about everything in her life and told me that I just didn’t understand her. This is how I handled it…
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When To Give Consequences And Do Corrections
When andhow do yougiveconsequences? For example,if youinstruct yourson to go clean his room (assuming you’ve prepped him for accepting a consequence) and he whines and says, “I don’t want to do it right now.” What do you say?
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Establishing Consequences
“…We taught the 4 basic skills and the kids had a lot of funrole-playing the way to respond to the different situations, they especially loved disagreeing appropriately! 🙂 Well, I hadn’t determined what our consequences were going to be yet so I told them we would just practice the 4 basic skills this week. I’ve learned from this that it is essential to have consequences established or there is no motivation to respond correctly…”
Why is it so important to have established consequences?
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The Times We Live In Part 2
“My husband works at a jail and just a few weeks ago a man we both know from school and church was brought in on sexual charges. His niece was supposedly the victim. Both of us were very surprised, as we wouldn’t have expected him of doing such a thing. Whether he is guilty or not, we will probably never know.However, after discussing it, we both thought that not only is it important to try to protect our children from this type of thing, we also need to take steps to protect OURSELVES and our own reputations.”
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Adult Chore Chart?
A reader loves the chore chart we have for our children and wants to try it, but also wants to know if we have a chore chart for us, the adults.
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Chore Chart
I have had a few requests for a copy of my chore chart. My system is very simple. Probably not revolutionary, but here it is. This chart is the one that my big children use. They switch chore lists each week.
About S.O.D.A.S.
Recently, I have had a number of emails asking questions about how to use SODAS. If you aren’t aware, SODAS are a problem solving exercise that I learned how to use while working for the Utah Youth Village. The exercises are wonderful for teaching the children and youth that there are always other options to choose during situations. A question:
I am struggling with SODAS… Can the kids use them to earn back privileges? My kids are still all in the oral SODA phase as none of them really write yet, although the 8 year old is getting close (but she’s not going to like th
Certain Consequences For Certain Behaviors
A blog reader wrote:
1 – We don’t have a “rule” or certain consequence set up for every behavior in the book (nor do we want so many specific rules!) So, I’m wondering if “just-plain-not-doing-what-you-know-you-should” (be kind, be respectful, be responsible, be honest, don’t hit, tease, talk back, etc.) would be considered “not following instructions”, and would it then be followed up with the usual – an extra job, followed by SODAS, then major maintenance, and 24 hours without privileges…? Or is it better to assign certain consequences to certain behaviors?
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Important Things
Those voices all around me;
“You’re wasting time,” they say.
The yard,dishes,big project
“It’s Time To Go To Bed.”
Nicholeen, I have a 9-year old boy. He is a typical 9-year old boy, I believe, in that his mind (and mouth) is constantly going 200 miles an hour. His siblings are always waiting for him to stop talking so they can get a word in edgewise. He is full of ideas and loves to take things apart. We are having a problem with bedtime. He goes to bed just fine, but once there, he won’t go to sleep. We let him read for about 15-30 minutes once he’s in bed, then we come down and turn the lights out (for him and his younger brother who is 4).
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