Chores

gardening boy

4 Ways to Help Children Enjoy Chores and Become Good Workers

“There is no substitute for hard work.” (Thomas Edison) Years ago, when I was planning a Teaching Self-Government trip to China, a good friend of mine said, “Nicholeen, what are you going to tell parents in China who don’t understand why their child should earn an extra chore? Most parents don’t have their children do

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Support Call 2-19-16

This call covers:

  • Time flies as your children get older.
  • Teaching my children love instead of toleration.
  • It’s hard to stay consistent, but even more so with HF autism.
  • I know I need to connect with my children, but I don’t want to.
  • You have a section in your book that talks about telling your children about sex. Why are you not in favor of sex ed in schools?

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Support Call 1-8-16

This call covers:

  • Resolutions: repentance and deliberate action.
  • How to structure family scripture study with a wide age range of children.
  • A good system to keep the house clean.
  • Son is obsessed with making money so that he can buy video games that we don’t approve of. Help!
  • Raging and manipulation when going through the Rule of Three.

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Support Call 12-11-15

This call covers:

  • My 2-year-old son is very stubborn and strong-willed and he “pushes back” at me, but not at Dad. What do I do about this?
  • All of my children are dawdling through their chores and their school. How do I help them overcome that?
  • How does “say okay and be okay” work with no answers? Mychildren cry, whine, and get attitude problems when they don’t get their way.

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Support Call 11-10-15

This call covers:

  • 2 1/2 year-old son seems to always be getting into trouble, not sure if it’s intentional. Also, for 3 1/2 year-old daughter and him, if they don’t follow instructions, should I be using the “calm down spot” instead of an extra chore?
  • My son will not follow instructions. He is 11 and just won’t. What do I do if he just calmly turns away from me every time I ask him to do something?

  • How do I help my 20 year old son to go back to school? Do I push it or just let it be since he is now an adult? What do I do? Can I make him?

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Support Call 10-23-15

This call covers:

  • Upcoming Schedule changes. Mark them on your calendar!
  • My son can’t seem to accept a chore during playtime. He’s fine when it’s chore time, but other than that, he has a breakdown when I ask him to do even the simplest things.
  • How old should my children be for me to give them chores? When can they do them?
  • One of my sons goes to and through the Rule of Three often. But, it seems that the more calm I am, the more angry he is. How do I fix that?

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Support Call 8-21-15

This call covers:

  • At what age does a mother have to accept that her daughter is now old enough to makeher own decisions, and peacefully accept rather than try to advise and correct herbehavior?

  • When you’re assigning a job as a consequence, how do you go about it if you’re not athome?

  • How do I wean my little daughter from a reward-based system but still help her with pottying in the toilet every time? Also, she is “happily hurtful.” How do I help that?

  • My kids think that the calm down spot isn’t a place for them to just calm down. If they stop crying immediately, can they leave the calm down spot right then or not have to go at all?

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Support Call 7-31-15

This call covers:

  • Teaching homeschool while keeping the house clean. How do I keep it all going?
  • We’re new to TSG and have 4 children. Our 14-year-old is struggling with following instructions and being calm. What do we do?
  • My aged 14 son has come back to live with me after being a whole year with his dad and in public school with no boundaries. He says he hates me, won’t do anything I say, and does anything he can to show me how much he dislikes me. How do I help him?
  • What happens when you’ve gone through the Rule of Three and your child isstillout of control. What do I do?

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Support Call 7-24-15

This call covers:

  • The meaning of pioneers
  • How to fix complacency at home and at work
  • Age 11 son is constantly whining. How to help him be okay
  • Keeping two 14-month-old babies from hurting themselves during a tantrum
  • Knowing what the appropriate amount of friend time for young children is
  • Being emotionally attached to a “no” answer, including in role plays
  • Helping age 5 son see that he hasearneda consequence, not that it wasgiven
  • Explaining the “why” of boundaries
  • Gaining respect for adults outside of your own family

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Consequences

My kids are really hard workers (At least I’ve taught them one thing right!) so they are not bothered at all by doing an extra job or even doing jobs for one hour or all day. It’s not their favorite thing to do but they will do it without complaining and then go right back to the same behavior that we were trying to fix. I know it sounds crazy but these are unusual kids I’m raising!

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Are Chores Instructions too?

I know you’ve written posts about chores before, but I can’t seem to find them on your website. So I’ll ask my questions, and maybe you can direct me to the proper posts if you’ve already answered them! Are the everyday chores that kids have a “standing instruction?” In other words, if they don’t do their chores or have to be reminded to do them, are they not following instructions, and would they start earning consequences?

Yes. Any responsibility your child has, such as a chore or school work, is an instruction. The term “standing instruction” is perfect fo

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Mom’s hang-up

“Thanks so much for all the wisdom and inspiration you share.  I have a son (age 11) who zapps so much emotional energy from me.  Over the last several months, I’ve really been trying to see things as they are and trying to determine how to handle things.  He is a great kid.  He’s the first one to help a younger sibling who is hurt or to give up his ice cream cone is one of his younger siblings dropped theirs.  He is also the one who complains the most, rolls his eyes back into his head and gets “that look” when things do not go his way.  I know that he is often “out of instructi

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