In his book, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” Norman Vincent Peale shares a story of a pastor talking to a painter about worrying.“Howard, don’t you ever worry?” the pastor asked the painter.The painter laughed and said, “No, not on your life. I don’t believe in it.”The painter goes on to tell how he didn’t have time to worry and how he set aside one day a week to worry, pushing off all his daily concerns until that one day. But, after trying to worry on the designated day for all the things he’d pushed out of his mind throughout the week he couldn’t do it. He was a failure at worrying. The painter had already essentially trained himself not to worry.Whether knowingly or unknowingly, this painter had worked out a method, or skill set, for overcoming worry.Mr. Peale explained that, “people fail to overcome such troubles as worry because…they allow …

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Posted by Monica Pond on February 21, 2019

Relationships require selfless service to survive. Although there are multiple reasons people site for their relationship dysfunctions, from infidelity to arguments, relationship problems usually all have two things in common: dishonesty and selfishness. According to The Institute For Family Studies, the leading causes of divorce are: infidelity, incompatibility, drinking or drug use, growing apart, a lack of commitment, and too much arguing. In my own studies of families who are working to overcome dysfunctional family relationships and fractured family bonds through Teaching Self-Government parenting services, I’ve noticed that the main causes of broken or damaged family bonds can be grouped into a handful of reasons. These reasons include: lack of communication, laziness, not valuing family, arguing and fights, lies and manipulations, excuses for bad behavior, disrespect for parental authority and position of the child, losing common values, and only being concerned with one’s own feelings and wants. Every reason listed …

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Posted by Monica Pond on December 28, 2020

“My husband works at a jail and just a few weeks ago a man we both know from school and church was brought in on sexual charges. His niece was supposedly the victim. Both of us were very surprised, as we wouldn’t have expected him of doing such a thing. Whether he is guilty or not, we will probably never know.However, after discussing it, we both thought that not only is it important to try to protect our children from this type of thing, we also need to take steps to protect OURSELVES and our own reputations.”

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 24, 2008

This Call Covers: Correcting silly behaviors in children staying calm as a parent Healthy praise Healing relationships with emotional walls

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 13, 2018

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_WholeEdited.mp3   Question: Hello Nicholeen, When my children are having trouble with friends, I often feel extremely stressed out that the problem be resolved. I then have trouble giving my child objective advice. I used to say negative things about the situation and make my child feel worse. Now my oldest is dating, and I noticed that my stress about things that bother my child is really too high. One example is if a date hasn’t called when expected and my child is worried that the person is going to “ghost” them. I would like to be the best person for them to come to for advice. How do I detach and be that person? Do you have any advice for how to handle this? Thank you. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_Q1.mp3 I love that you are seeing that you are taking things too personally! That is really great assessment. It …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 2, 2020

This Call Covers:Teaching children about modesty and public boundariesPreventing sneaking onto devices and sneaking outHelping children who are destructiveChildren who call others names

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 26, 2019

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-23-20_WholeEdited.mp3   Question: I love all that I am learning and becoming with Teaching Self Government, especially that giving up control and honoring agency doesn’t have to lead to chaos… But sometimes it does. 🙂 We held the paper airplanes simulation in our family, and when we debriefed it, our kids were all over the place, being goofy and random. Maybe I should have waited–served ice cream and chatted and then debriefed. This is a frequent problem. We are a fun, large family, and love to bring up new and unusual topics, interesting or funny. Our conversations are interesting, but I’ve found myself being to teach simple conversational skills, like not interrupting. Small surprise. We like to have fun, so how can we bring conversations back to calm when we need to?  Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-23-20_Q1.mp3 My father used to always say, “There is a time and a place for …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 28, 2020

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-16-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hi Nicholeen, I homeschool 5 children and have a 2 year old toddler. I am introvert with a load of high energy spirited children and one ADHD child. All the talking that’s involved in homeschooling and then all the talking involved in the TSG is hard on me. I hate having to stop a lesson with one child to correct another because it disrupts the flow of the lessons and so I want the bad behavior to stop immediately without having to do a long correction with a lot of talking.  If I leave the one who I am teaching to correct another, the child I was teaching gets distracted and goes off to play or starts talking to another sibling and/or getting silly. Then it takes time to get them to transition back to their lessons. Having someone leave to do an extra chore throws …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 26, 2020

This Call Covers: Kids Faking illnesses Correcting children on the Autism spectrum Helping children feel comfortable playing

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 3, 2018

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/08August/TSG_SC_8-26-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hi Nicholeen! Just wondering if I should pull up my 10 year old daughter on ‘sighing’ when giving her an instruction? The other day I gave her an instruction and she gave an exasperated but very sublte sigh. If you had blinked you might almost have missed it. I pulled her up on it and proceeded to tell her that was not a calm voice. She used the skill of disagreeing appropriately with me. She wanted to defend herself. I calmly stuck to my position believing that it was not a response that I would want her to do to anyone else. She got so overwhelmed with emotion that she yelled at me several times shouting ‘you are so unfair’ and then ran off to her room. I told her that I would discuss this with her once I had thought about it some more. As …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 28, 2020

This call covers: Things not being in order and the tone not being right. Feeling overwhelmed and in chaos. Friend lets daughter run around naked and thinks it’s appropriate. Social modesty and modesty of the heart. And, about JK Rowling and channeling. Son won’t give mother time of day. It’s like she’s not even there. How to fix that relationship. What classics canchildren read beside JK Rowling books?

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 31, 2016

This Call Covers: Dealing with custody-related parenting problems Rule of three and young children Preventing parental manipulation of children Does TSG make kids worse?

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 27, 2018