Assertive Communication | Page 9 | Teaching Self-Government

Assertive Communication

Support Call 11-19-15

This call covers:

  • Son wants to join the local performing arts program, but we don't like the environment in that group. But, we havn't told him no yet because we're afraid of the HUGE fight that will happen. Thoughts?
  • What are some of the issues that are the same in Kenya as here in the US?

Support Call 10-31-15

This call covers:

  • World Congress of Families update and November Conference call info
  • We just found out that my teenage son is cutting, depressed, and possibly suicidal. We try to talk to him, but he plugs his ears and hums. How do we handle this?
  • My 6-year-old son has developed a new habit of negativity and being down on himself. I thought it was manipulation, but now I'm not so sure. Thoughts?
  • Our 15-year-old son's room is always messy. We've tried to get him to clean it, but he just won't and it's the source of a lot of our battles. Suggestions?

Support Call 5-22-15

This call covers:

  • My age 17 daughter is having too much online social time and isn't spending time with the family when she is home. How can I help her?
  • When my son was younger, he threw something at me that required me to go to the hospital. Sometimes, when his siblings are mad at him, they'll bring up the incident and tell him "what a bad person" he is. How do I help him through this?
  • My age 14 son has struggled with an almost daily masturbation addiction. We've gone to the bishop and made goals, but he keeps falling back into old habits. What do we do to help him overcome this issue?

Children’s Books Package

Over $60 value! Includes: "Londyn LaRae Says Okay!"  (Following Instructions) "Porter Earns A Quarter"  (Accepting "No" Answers) "Big Win for Quin"  (Accepting Consequences) "Paije Takes the Stage" (Dis... more

Classroom Behavior Problems

A parent's work isn't limited to working with our own children. Sometimes we are in situations when we are in charge of other people's children. Occasions where this most likely happens are at church, when friends come over, at clubs, in school settings, and on outings. These times are enjoyable, but can also be complete disasters.

Stressed Out To Chilled Out ~ My True Story

I am not a stress out type person. My part 'yellow' personality usually keeps me rather laid back and happy no matter what troubles come my way. This has been a blessing many times in my life. But, I can feel s... more

Conference Call 4-15-11

Nicholeen shares some stories about the importance of having a vision for you and your children.  She is often contacted by individuals who have see in the BBC show.  She tells about a girl who is lost and not sure what to do with her life and is considering apprenticing as a piercing person.  

  • What if your child (or teenager) doesn’t care about the family vision or says it is stupid?  That’s what seems to be happening with one of our kids. Nicholeen shares 5 ideas about vision.
  • I have a question about the content of vision. Would it be bad to make our family being in the rodeo as part of our vision? Or do I just change the vision if my children's interests change.
  • 7 year old not calm after rule of 3 and needs to be taken out of the room. I can't take him due to back it sends me into panic mode. He doesn't like to be taken there. But he is attention seeking with the tantrum. 5 second rule. Power struggle mode. Soft hold. Exception to rule. Be intuitive. Special moment, counseling session. I noticed good. I noticed every so often you arent happy. I decided in order to help you be happy to do a soft hold. You are in bondage to your emotions and I am going to free you.
  • Help!  I need advice as soon as possible.  We just found out that our 17 year old has been drinking he was twice the legal limit and has been smoking 4 cigerettes per day.  He needs to go to detox and a smoking cessation program.  What do we do?
  • My 17 year old daughter makes mountains out of mole holes in regards to computer time and her social life. She will get really upset.  She's is a really good girl and the extreme is that she recently started cutting herself. Part of it is my fault since we really don't have a structure in place for.  

Conference Call 4-8-11

After her brother’s wedding Nicholeen shares a nugget of wisdom “Receiving your Spouse”.  She discusses the importance of receiving and improving your relationship with your spouse, gives an assessment, and discusses the 3 Types of Communication.

Questions:

  • My husband thinks I am too much of a softy and that kids need more aggressive measures than just talking about it. So do I go his way or make him come my way?
  • My children are 10, 12, and14 year olds but they act like 3 year olds.  The feeling in the house is total contention there's been fighting, squabbling, teasing, sibling rivalry, they are being destructive.  My goal to stay calm.  What do I do? 
  • Talking helps me understand my thoughts. What do I do when there is something I need to talk concerning my spouse? I know you mentioned that we shouldn't talk behind our spouses back?
  • We are trying to implement things in your book.  I have older kids who don’t care for the changes.  My husband says we need to get back to core and back to the relationships with them.  How do you suggest we start implementing Self-Government? 

How Do You Get Your Way?

How Do You Get Your Way? --Power Struggles or Good Communication

In May 2009 I allowed the BBC Britain to bring two troubled British teens to my home to make a show called “The World’s Strictest Parents.”  They brought me two seventeen year olds named Hannah and James.  For two days Hannah and James had tantrums and tried every way they could think of to initiate power struggles and force us to become aggressive.  This is generally called, “button pushing.”  What they didn’t know was that I got rid of all my buttons long ago.