“What do you want your relationship with your child to be like?” I asked a group of dedicated parents attending one of my Teaching Self-Government workshops. “I just want to be my daughter’s friend,” said one mother, “but she doesn’t treat me like one, even though I try so hard.” “Who doesn’t want to have a great, friendly relationship with their child?” I replied with a knowing smile. “We all do. However, treating your daughter like your best friend is not the way to end up with her as your best friend. I know that sounds kind of backward, but it’s true. This is the reason why you’re not best friends.” The Role of Roles I continued to explain to that mother the importance of roles when it comes to our relationships with our children. Parents have a self-evident role as “The Mother” or “The Father” in their kids’ lives. …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on July 28, 2015
There is an international parent/child bonding problem. The world has never seen a global lack of parent/child attachment like this before. Of course, there are factors leading to this detachment, factors that the world has also never seen before. Are we experimenting on our families and children and calling it good leadership? Have we given up our roles in the family for social conformity, loss of identity, and cluelessness? I know I’m not going to win many points with diligent, loving parents by calling them clueless. I’m not intending to be mean, but every day I see video after video that laughs at what parents don’t know. Comedians and YouTubers have never-ending fodder for their acts if parenting is continually equal to a joke. If parents are overly tough, people will laugh. If parents are passive, people will laugh. If parents are worn out and have attitude problems, people will …
Posted by Monica Pond on November 1, 2017
How do you parent a child who is red/yellow when you are a white/blue? My son and I are so entirely different and he’s so impulsive (almost destructive) that it completely shakes my world. I often find him sneaking downstairs and turning on the Wii (which we only permit on Friday and Saturday as a privilege). Even though he receives consequences (extra chores, etc.) the benefit from sneaking still outweighs the consequences he receives. He is extremely smart and creative, however, I find it hard to adapt and allow him to explore. Just a small example is that when I came into the kitchen, he had poured most of my white vinegar into a large pitcher and added a lot of baking soda to it to see what would happen. Of course, a nice reaction occurred (like a volcano) causing messes in the kitchen (not to mention “wasted” ingredients). My …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on March 5, 2011
10 modules including over 70 lessons Downloadable PDF workbook pages for each lesson Group live mentoring calls with certified TSG mentor Weekly Support Group calls with Nicholeen Downloadable version of the cue cards, meeting forms, and choices map. Teaching Self-Government 15-Lesson Family Tutorial included FREE (Viewable on the website, no DVD) Online videos of actual parenting interactions Lifetime access to online course materials More in-depth understanding of self-government and personal self-mastery Stronger relationship strategies for husband/wife relationship Suggested assignments for implementation success Please note that the course material is online. No physical materials will be included. If you also wish to have the Parenting: A House United book or any other physical materials we recommend the Parenting University Package or Parenting Essentials Package.
Posted by David Eggertsen on June 28, 2020
“My husband works at a jail and just a few weeks ago a man we both know from school and church was brought in on sexual charges. His niece was supposedly the victim. Both of us were very surprised, as we wouldn’t have expected him of doing such a thing. Whether he is guilty or not, we will probably never know.However, after discussing it, we both thought that not only is it important to try to protect our children from this type of thing, we also need to take steps to protect OURSELVES and our own reputations.”
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 24, 2008
In a world full of sexual depravity, diverse addictions, familial dysfunction, lascivious social platforms, manipulative media, and irate people of all ages, is it possible to even hope for our children to have an innocent upbringing? A routine trip through a store like Walmart, for example, can start a child’s brain processing in sexual and dysfunctional directions. What is a parent to do about this problem? How can a family live in the world but not become part of all the lewdness and cruelty so many people in society are laughing at? The Illusion of Innocence: Living in the World For many years I’ve taken my children, and often other children I teach, to the Utah Shakespeare Festival. Every time prior to attending, I call the festival and check to be sure the play is developmentally appropriate for children and will preserve their innocence. This year I asked the usual …
Posted by Monica Pond on November 16, 2017
Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed.Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In the midst of this fragility epidemic, many teens don’t see that the answer to their “feeling-inadequate-for-adult-life problem” is staring them right in the face.Their parents.Dr. Leonard Sax, author of “The Collapse of Parenting,” said: “The parent-child relationship differs from the relationship between same-age peers.” This statement contradicts the once “revolutionary” parenting belief perpetuated by Dr. Benjamin Spock that parents should treat their children like friends with equal roles, instead of like children who need a parent’s love and nurturing.Sax continues: “The child expects to look up to the parent, to be instructed by the parent, indeed, …
Posted by Monica Pond on July 9, 2019
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hello Nicholeen, When my children are having trouble with friends, I often feel extremely stressed out that the problem be resolved. I then have trouble giving my child objective advice. I used to say negative things about the situation and make my child feel worse. Now my oldest is dating, and I noticed that my stress about things that bother my child is really too high. One example is if a date hasn’t called when expected and my child is worried that the person is going to “ghost” them. I would like to be the best person for them to come to for advice. How do I detach and be that person? Do you have any advice for how to handle this? Thank you. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_Q1.mp3 I love that you are seeing that you are taking things too personally! That is really great assessment. It …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 2, 2020
This call covers: Becoming a joyful adult yourself. Easy going to control freak toddler. Manipulative and controlling son. Young son pees all over things and won’t be patient. He does it purposely sometimes. Daughter needs to wear glasses and eye patch, but doesn’t like to because she gets teased by step family and others. Son has new phone for a few days and already has looked at porn sites. How to address that.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 7, 2016
This Call Covers: Dealing with video games as a family
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 1, 2018
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-16-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hi Nicholeen, I homeschool 5 children and have a 2 year old toddler. I am introvert with a load of high energy spirited children and one ADHD child. All the talking that’s involved in homeschooling and then all the talking involved in the TSG is hard on me. I hate having to stop a lesson with one child to correct another because it disrupts the flow of the lessons and so I want the bad behavior to stop immediately without having to do a long correction with a lot of talking. If I leave the one who I am teaching to correct another, the child I was teaching gets distracted and goes off to play or starts talking to another sibling and/or getting silly. Then it takes time to get them to transition back to their lessons. Having someone leave to do an extra chore throws …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 26, 2020
This call covers: Twin 6-year-old boys who struggle with lying, cheating, and stealing. New to the program and has a 10-year-old son who rages and gets angry. Aged 2 son slaps, pinches, and rips. He’s a little bully. Adopted daughter won’t open up about anything and phone is a constanct companion. Entitlement confusion.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 7, 2016