I was recently asked if I thought I was a strict parent.  I have never liked the word strict, because I have associated it with a parent who yells a lot, is stern looking and engages in power struggles.  So, in response to the question, I said, “I wouldn’t use the word strict to describe me, but I would say I am firm.” 

I shared my thoughts about the word strict with a wise friend of mine.  She looked me in the eye and said, “You are wrong about people who are strict.  A strict parent DOESN’T HAVE TO YELL.” 

All of the sudden I wondered if the semantics of the word strict have been changed in recent years. 

Strict isn’t what I thought it was.  I looked the word up in my Webster’s 1828 Dictionary.  It said:

“Exact, accurate, rigorously nice, governed or governing by exact rules; to observe the strictest rules of virtue and decorum.  Not  indulgent.”

I think it is pretty safe to say, I am probably one of the strictest parents I know.  I have found that low tolerances make everyone happier and more industrious.  Being strict makes me a fun person to be around.  My children love  my strictness, because then they know the exact road to success.  This gives them direction, success and confidence.

At least I now know why I don’t feel the need to yell; “a strict parent doesn’t need to yell.”  A strict parent has a system based on principles, which virtuously governs the home.  This system keeps the parent calm.  A good system of government = security for the parent. 

It is also good to point out that if a parent finds themself anxious, frustrated or yelling, then they have probably forgotten to use their government system during a specific incident.  For some reason the parent gave up their strict principles.  A strict system keeps everyone secure, even the parent.